Healing from hindsight. Kristin Cavallari is opening up about her rocky relationship with Jay Cutler — both before and after their 2020 split — like never before.
“It was toxic. Period, end of story,” the Laguna Beach alum, 35, said of her marriage during the Wednesday, August 3, episode of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast. “That’s all I kinda need to say.”
The Uncommon James founder and the ex-NFL player, 39, tied the knot in 2013 and called it quits seven years later. They share children Camden, 9, Jaxon, 8, and Saylor, 6, who remain Cavallari’s biggest priority as she and Cutler navigate their new normal.
When asked what prompted her to end her marriage, the Very Cavallari alum told host Alex Cooper, “I mean, it took me a few years to actually pull the trigger, to be honest … It was more just time. Nothing major happened at the end.”
The decision to get divorced was “really scary,” but Cavallari thinks it was worth it in the long run. “I really don’t think anything good comes easy. Really, like, with anything in life,” she explained. “But you also don’t want to just make an impulsive decision either and that’s why it’s important to write it out. I’ve also seen couples who’ve worked through s–t and come out on the other side, you know, so I think with any relationship, you just have to realize what are dealbreakers for you. What’s important to you and what’s not?”
For the jewelry designer, it came down to feeling “really unhappy” in her relationship. “That was the bottom line. I was in an unhealthy relationship and so that, to me, is not worth it,” Cavallari added. “Also, I didn’t want my kids thinking that was normal and I wanted them to see me happy and see me, eventually — not right now, but eventually — see me with someone who really respects me and treats me the way I need to be treated.”
The Balancing in Heels author walked through the early days of her romance with Cutler, who was playing for the Chicago Bears when they met. “I got a call from my publicist in 2009 when I was still filming The Hills and he said, ‘Jay Cutler wants to fly you to Chicago and take you on a date,'” she recalled. “And I had no idea who he was. I wasn’t interested, quite honestly, so I said no. … A year later, I was visiting my mom, who lives in the suburbs of Chicago, and we were going to a Bears preseason game with my cousin and my mom said, ‘Didn’t Jay Cutler ask you out?’ And I was like, ‘Oh yeah, I forgot about that.'”
Cavallari’s cousin was a big fan of the NFL team, and the reality TV personality treated her family to a meet and greet with the players after the game. “[Jay] walked in and he was a lot cuter in person,” she joked. “We hung out two nights later and, honestly, we just moved so fast. We got engaged after eight months. … We just had that spark. For where I was at in my life, he was perfect for me.”
Ahead of their split, the pair were candid about their ups and downs, but Cavallari has tried to remain positive in the wake of her breakup. “The scariest thing that I’ve ever done is get a divorce,” she said during a July interview on “The School of Greatness” podcast. “But it’s been the best thing that I’ve ever done and that has really jumpstarted my journey on self-love and figuring out who I am now. … It’s gotten me to a really peaceful place. I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m no longer afraid of getting hurt.”
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