“It just sometimes feels lately, like, we haven’t been as connected,” Tom, 40, confessed to Ariana, 37, during the Wednesday, May 10, episode of Vanderpump Rules amid their relationship ups and downs. “You snap at me and you f—king belittle me in front of people. That really f—king hurts my feelings.”
While the Florida native “agreed” with her then-boyfriend about “not being connected” she wasn’t convinced that more sex would help their dynamic.
“I just want to f—king be better. I want to us to be more intimate,” Tom explained while having a small breakdown at their shared home. “Having sex, like, four times a year, that also affects me.”
Ariana quipped: “OK, well then maybe you need to spend time with me because I cannot have sex with somebody who feels like a stranger.”
Elsewhere in the episode, the Buying Back My Daughter actress opened up to Raquel, 28, about her insecurities and how they had started to affect her sex life with the Schwartz & Sandy’s cofounder.
“I feel like in a relationship you should want to have sex,” Raquel told Ariana during the Something About Her party at SUR. The Fancy AF Cocktails coauthor agreed, but pointed out, “You have to be emotionally intimate to be physically intimate.”
When asked whether she was still “sexually attracted” to Tom, Ariana quickly replied, “Oh my God, I think he’s so f—king hot.”
She then confessed that she doesn’t feel sexy. “I’m like, ‘I’m not hot,’” Ariana said of her physique. “You don’t look at my body and go, ‘Yeah, that’s what I want. I want cellulite, fat thighs and a big ass.’”
Raquel cut her off, saying, “Stop! I feel like a lot of that is in your head.” The former pageant queen admitted that she does the same thing to herself, which she noted was “f—ked up” and not accurate.
“I think we’re a lot prettier than we think we are. We’re our own worst critics and that translates into our sexual lives,” Raquel explained. “Now that I’m single, I think that sex is a very, very important part of a healthy relationship.”
Ariana concluded by telling Raquel that she wanted to fix her and Tom’s relationship. “I wouldn’t be having this conversation if this wasn’t who I wanted to be with,” she said, adding, “I think we’ll talk it out and be fine.”
Tom and Ariana’s relationship woes, however, became an even bigger topic of conversation off camera in March when Us Weekly confirmed that they called it quits after nine years. The news came amid the Tom Sandoval and The Most Extras singer’s months-long affair with Raquel. (Pump Rules’ Tom Schwartz revealed during an April appearance on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen that he “learned about the affair in August.” He claimed that Sandoval had a “one night stand” with the California native before embarking on a “emotional affair.”)
Both Sandoval and Raquel publicly apologized to Ariana later that month for the cheating scandal. In the wake of the drama, the Pump Rules cast resumed filming scenes for season 10 as the fallout from the relationship played out in real time.
Viewers will get an even better look at where the reality stars stand with their costars during the explosive season 10 finale and subsequent reunion, which are both set to air later this month on Bravo. In the meantime, Ariana has been linked to fitness instructor Daniel Wai, whom she was spotted kissing at Coachella last month.
Raquel, for her part, checked into a mental health rehabilitation center in April following the affair backlash. Sandoval, meanwhile, announced during his May 4 concert in New York that “it’s been one month since I had my last drink of alcohol.”
Vanderpump Rules airs on Bravo Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET.