Bachelor’s Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell: A Complete Relationship and Drama Timeline

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Bachelor’s Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell: A Complete Relationship and Drama Timeline

Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell’s Bachelor love story has been a journey — on and off screen. ABC named the 29-year-old Wake Forest graduate the season 25 lead in June 2020, subsequently revealing that the series received a record number of submissions for contestants. Among the 38 women who had the opportunity to meet Matt was Rachael, a 24-year-old graphic designer from Georgia. While she didn’t receive the coveted first impression rose (Abigail Heringer did), she caught Matt’s eye on night one. (Season 25 of The Bachelor filmed at Nemacolin Resort in the fall of 2020 and premiered in January.) “She was beautiful, wow,” he said after she walked out of the limo. After several group dates, Rachael scored one-on-one time with Matt during the February 1 episode of the show. During the evening portion of the date, the pair revealed they were falling in love with one another. “Night one, what she chose to use her time with me to speak about was very intentional. And it wasn’t something that wasn’t going to progress our relationship,” Matt said of Rachael on Us Weekly’s “Here for the Right Reasons” podcast on February 2. “And then when I saw on the first group date, and I’m referring to all these instances that aren’t one-on-ones, because that was how our relationship was lived out, you know, I hadn’t had that one-on-one time with her yet. And when I had that day to spend with her and really get to know her better, it just affirmed everything I had already felt.” [jwplayer pgHJ6Ap0-zhNYySv2] While Matt and Rachael were dropping L-bombs on the series, she was making headlines for her past racially insensitive actions, including photos of her at an “Old South”-themed frat party in 2018. The controversy escalated after Chris Harrison asked for fans to have “grace” for Rachael as they navigated the scandal. The Georgia native broke her silence on February 11, two days after the host’s interview and more than one month since she initially came under fire. Rachael’s mother, Kim Kirkconnell, also defended her daughter and hinted at how the situation might affect their potential happy ending. “If he chooses Rachael, and stands by her, then you know Matt does truly love her,” Kim told The Sun on February 25. “If he chooses Rachael, and then leaves her, then it was not meant to be, and there is someone else out there for her.” During The Bachelor: After the Final Rose on Monday, March 15, fans learned that Matt and Rachael called it quits while the show was airing. Months after getting back together in April 2021, Rachael gave Us Weekly an exclusive update on their romance — and the pressure they feel from Bachelor Nation to get engaged. “We’re in a great place,” she said that September at New York Fashion Week. “We just needed to take that time away from everyone and really figure everything out, and I think that we were just so sick of the outside noise and we were like, ‘You know what? We need to just put all of that aside and really focus on our relationship and how we feel about each other and nothing else.’ It’s been so incredible.” Scroll through for a complete timeline of Matt and Rachael’s relationship:

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Night One

Rachael got visibly emotional after Matt kicked off night one with a prayer. “Everything that he said I felt like I really related to that,” she said through tears.

In her confessional, Rachael added, “I had a feeling that I was going to be, like, infatuated with him, but the fact that he opened that up with a prayer struck a nerve for me. I didn’t expect to feel like this so soon.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

The One-On-One

“Rachael, I’m falling in love with you too,” Matt told Rachael on the February 1, 2021, episode. “And it is scary to say, but when I’m with you, it just feels right.”

During an interview with Us, Matt opened up about the weight of using the word “love” on the show. “Having not been part of The Bachelorette before I was the Bachelor, I didn’t know the rules and regulations of how to use that word,” he said after the episode aired. “And so, whenever I felt something, I said it. And I only said things that I meant and felt. So, if that got tossed around a few times, it’s because I felt it. And if it doesn’t, then that means that connection hadn’t gotten to that point yet.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

The Group Date Rose

The week after her one-on-one date, Rachael scored a group date rose during the February 15, 2021, episode.

“My parents will be so happy to meet you because if I’m happy, they are. I feel like I've been searching for what feels like my whole life for this and now I feel like I finally found it,” she gushed on the episode. “But I don't know if I'm going to get it. The only worry is that I just don't get you at the end of this.”

He replied: ”Where I'm at with you is, when I'm not around you, I'm thinking about you. And you just make me smile.”

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

The Fantasy Suite

Matt and Rachael affirmed their love for each other during their overnight date, which aired on March 8, 2021.

“Where I’m at with you is I’ve fallen in love with you,” Matt said.

She replied, “I’m head over heels for you. I’m completely in love with you.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

The Extended Honeymoon

Matt and Rachael left Nemacolin together in November 2020.

"It felt like an extended honeymoon period," he later revealed on After the Final Rose. "It was super, it was great. Initially, it started out how you would imagine."

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

January 2021

The same day The Bachelor premiered on January 4, 2021, the first allegations aganist Rachael surfaced. 

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

February 2021

Prior to the photos of Rachael at the controversial frat party resurfacing, she made headlines when a TikTok user accused her of being racist in high school. Screenshots of Instagram photos that Rachael “liked” featuring people smiling in front of Confederate flags then surfaced via social media. Matt was asked about the situation for the first time on February 2.

“I have not spoken to anybody since the show ended, but I would say that you have to be really careful about what you are doing on social media,” Matt told Entertainment Tonight. “Rumors are dark and nasty and can ruin people’s lives. So I would give people the benefit of the doubt, and hopefully she will have her time to speak on that.”

Credit: Extra

February 2021

The longtime host’s interview with Rachel Lindsay was released in full on Extra’s YouTube channel on February 9.

“I haven’t talked to Rachael about it, we all need to have a little grace, a little understanding, a little compassion,” he said. “I have seen some stuff online. Again, this judge, jury, executioner thing where people are just tearing this girl’s life apart … Until I actually hear this woman have a chance to speak, who am I to say any of this … I saw a picture of her at a sorority party five years ago that’s it. … My guess? These girls got dressed up and went to a party and had a great time, they were 18 years old. Now, does that make it OK? I don’t know Rachel, you tell me. Were we all looking through [that lens] in 2018?”

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

February 2021

Rachael broke her silence on February 11 via Instagram.

“While there have been rumors circulating, there have also been truths that have come to light that I need to address. I hear you, and I’m here to say I was wrong,” she wrote in part. “At one point, I didn’t recognize how offensive and racist my actions were, but that doesn’t excuse them. My age or when it happened does not excuse anything. They are not acceptable or OK in any sense. I was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist.”

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

February 2021

According to sources, Matt and Rachael called it quits after she made her public apology in mid-February. He initially stood by her, per the insider. 

Credit: Billy Kidd/ABC

February 2021

With the exception of sending season 13 Bachelorette Rachel love amid the Extra interview controversy, Matt didn’t address the situation until February 22, calling the past few weeks “the most challenging” of his life.

“The reality is that I'm learning about these situations in real time, and it has been devastating and heartbreaking to put it bluntly,” he wrote via Instagram. "Chris' failure to receive and understand the emotional labor that my friend Rachel Lindsay was taking on by graciously and patiently explaining the racist history of the Antebellum South, a painful history that every American should understand intimately, was troubling and painful to watch. As Black people and allies immediately knew and understood, it was a clear reflection of a much larger issue that The Bachelor franchise has fallen short on addressing adequately for years."

Hours after he released his statement, the hometowns date episode of The Bachelor aired and fans saw Matt meet Rachael’s family, including mom Kim, dad Darrell and sister Trinity.

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

March 2021

Matt picked Rachael over Michelle Young during the finale, which taped in November 2020 and aired on March 15, but opted not to propose.

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC(2)

March 2021

“When he first called me to end things, my initial reaction was I was very confused. I was very blindsided,” Rachael said of their split during After the Final Rose. “But once that initial reaction went away, I thought about, you know, how strong I thought our relationship was. So for him to end things, like, he must have been very, very hurt by everything. It was hard, because I lost the love of my life."

While Rachael added that she loves him “so much” and always will, Matt said Rachael has "work" to do on her own.

Credit: ABC

March 2021

While Rachael called Matt the “love of my life” again via Instagram after the finale aired, Matt ruled out any chance of reconciliation during an appearance on Good Morning America.

“I think there’s a lot of work that needs to be done before I can think about being in a relationship with anybody,” he said on March 16, 2021. “I need time to process everything that’s going on. I want to respect Rachael and what she’s gotta do as well.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

April 2021

Matt and Rachael were spotted together in New York City in April 2021. ”They wanted to keep it a secret, but they got caught walking around the city,” a source told Us at the time, confirming reports that Rachael was seen at Matt's’ apartment. “They’ve been working on their relationship privately over the past few months and taking the next steps to get back together. They spoke and FaceTimed daily.”

Credit: Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock; Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

April 2021

Shortly after a woman named Grace claimed to be in communication with Matt while he and Rachael were also hanging out in NYC, a source told Us that the Bachelor exes had completely stopped talking to one another. "Rachael and Matt are on non-speaking terms after she learned about him lying about being in communication with another girl," the source said in April 2021. "He was in Atlanta this [month], which is less than an hour away from where Rachael resides, and he has not reached out to her to make amends or apologize. As far as she's concerned, what they had is in the past now."

Meanwhile, the graphic designer is enjoying her time alone. "She's working on her mental health and getting into a much better headspace," the source continued. "She's focusing on her own antiracism work and working on herself right now. She's not looking to jump into the dating field any time soon."

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

April 2021

The duo were spotted in California grabbing food with friends in April 2021, just weeks after Matt was accused of seeing another woman behind Rachael’s back. The pair were photographed going to JuneShine bar in Santa Monica and walking through the city.

Credit: Gregory Pace/Shutterstock; Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

April 2021

After reconnecting in California in April 2021, Matt confirmed that he has seen Rachael “a handful of times” since their split. He told People the same month, "I'm not pursuing any relationships right now outside of that. I said I was going to focus on my relationship with her and that means focusing on it."

Credit: Courtesy of GLOSSLAB/Instagram

May 2021

Following Matt's declaration that he's "focusing" on his relationship with Rachael, the pair were spotted holding hands in NYC in May 2021 and getting mani-pedis at Glosslab. In an interview with WSJ. Magazine published shortly after that sighting, Matt confirmed that the couple are trying to work out their issues.

"It’s on people who care about being allies to do the work to be truly antiracist,” he said. “And I think it’s unfair to leave people without the ability to unlearn and be better.” Rachael also confirmed in an email to the magazine that the duo have gotten back together, noting that their newfound "privacy" has made it easier to move forward.

Credit: MEGA

May 2021

Matt and Rachael packed on the PDA during a trip to Miami in May 2021. The couple were spotted cuddling and walking together on the beach after taking a dip in the ocean.

Credit: MEGA; ABC/Craig Sjodin

May 2021

Matt revealed in May 2021 that he and Rachael had a big heart-to-heart ahead of their April reconciliation. “It was honestly a commitment that we made to each other that we were going to work on the relationship,” James said on the “Pomp” podcast. “There came a point in time where it was evident that my working on the relationship looked different than Rachael’s because I wasn’t really honoring that commitment that I made to working on the relationship. She was like, ‘If you’re going to make this work, let’s do it. But, if you’re not going to make it work, I’m going to let you do your own thing.’ That’s really all I needed. It was an ultimatum that I needed. It’s been great.”

Credit: Mark Carolan

June 2021

The couple spent quality time together at the Little Nell luxury hotel during Rachael's first trip to Aspen, Colorado, in June 2021. "Both were bright-eyed, easygoing and in a very joyous mood. It's very obvious to onlookers that they are definitely headed in the direction of an engagement," an eyewitness told Us exclusively. "They were very close and acted as if they had been dating for years."

Credit: Courtesy Matt James/Twitter

July 2021

In July 2021, Matt and Rachael hit the red carpet at the ESPY Awards in New York City — and poked fun at comments that they came "out of hiding" for the event. "Ain't nobody hiding!" the former Bachelor tweeted alongside a silly selfie with his girlfriend.

Credit: Courtesy Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

July 2021

The lovebirds wore matching blue sweatsuits by THE HAPPY CAMP3R, which send all proceeds to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, while spending time together in July 2021 in New York City. Rachael also documented the couple’s food tour of the city via her Instagram Story, sharing their favorite breakfast spot and tons of ice cream snaps.

Credit: Courtesy of Matt James/Instagram

August 2021

The couple posed with Logan Paul in Las Vegas at the WWE SummerSlam in August 2021.

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

August 2021

The reality stars visited Rachael’s family in Cumming, Georgia, in August 2021. During the trip, Matt even played his girlfriend’s mom, Kim, in a round of tennis.

“There’s no easy way to say this,” Matt said in an Instagram Story video at the time. “Rachael’s mom just kicked my ass. I came in talking so much s—t. I lost both sets, 6-0. I didn’t win a game.”

He captioned the slide, “I’m taking lessons when I’m back in NYC! … Humbled. Mrs. Kirkconnell was at about 50% effort too [skull emoji].”

The Bachelor Nation couple also made homemade pizza, fed wild pigs and went on a boat ride at sunset during their Georgia vacation.

Credit: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP/Shutterstock; ABC/Maarten de Boer

September 2021

While Matt prepared to take on Dancing With the Stars in Los Angeles, Rachael held down the fort in NYC in September 2021. The former football player subsequently apologized for watching Kate Winslet’s Mare of Easttown without her.

“I told Rachael I was gonna wait and start Mare of Easttown till she got out here. And then I made the mistake — I was all, 'Oh, I'm just gonna watch 15 minutes, I'm just gonna watch 30 minutes,' last night,” he said via Instagram Stories. “And I went to bed at 5 a.m. I watched the entire show. And I can say that I had no idea … it was gonna be who it was. I've never been that unsure of who I thought was gonna be the person. But now I need a new show."

Credit: Courtesy Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

September 2021

After the premiere of Dancing With the Stars season 30 in September 2021, Matt told Entertainment Tonight that he's so "in love" with his biggest fan. "She hasn't come to the rehearsals, but we've made it a family affair," he said. "Rachael and I have hung out with Lindsay [Arnold] and Sage, Lindsay's daughter ... so we spend a lot of time together."

 Matt noted that being able to "do a lot of things together" has been a positive experience for the reality stars after a rocky year. "Everything I do, she does," he said.

Credit: Courtesy of Matt James/Instagram

September 2021

The former Bachelor shared an Instagram gallery dedicated to the graphic designer on September 26 to celebrate her birthday, alongside a quote from the Bible's Deuteronomy 31:6.

“Happy Birthday to my emergency contact @rachaelkirkconnell ❤️🥳🎂,” the ABC Food Tours founder captioned his post. “I love you."

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

October 2021

While Matt exclusively told Us in October 2021 that he “hope[s]” to have a baby as cute as Arnold’s one day, he clarified, " I don't want to get any ideas in Rachael's head, you know what I mean? We've gotta take it step by step. I'm cool with being a godfather, with being the uncle. … I’m just chilling right now.”

Credit: Courtesy Emmanual Acho/Instagram

November 2021

The couple had a sweet reunion with The Bachelor: After the Final Rose host, Emmanuel Acho, at a UFC fight. “Nothing made me happier than seeing @mattjames919 & @rachaelkirkconnell together last night,” the former football player wrote via Instagram on November 7.

He added, “I haven’t seen these 2 since we walked off the @bachelorabc stage nearly 250 days ago. We’ve cried together and we’ve laughed together, but it was all smiles this time around!”

Credit: Courtesy Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

January 2022

The couple gave their Instagram followers a glimpse at their walk down memory lane when they visited Nemacolin in Pennsylvania in January 2022. Rachael and Matt showed off places in the hotel where scenes from The Bachelor were filmed.

Credit: AFF-USA/Shutterstock

March 2022

In March 2022, the duo attended the 2022 ACM Awards in Las Vegas, walking the red carpet in coordinated, country-themed looks. "Power couple just thriving," Jason Tartick wrote via Instagram, commenting on a photo Matt shared from the evening. 

Credit: Joey Andrew/startraksphoto.com

April 2022

“I wouldn’t be with someone that I wasn’t considering marrying, especially at this point in my life,” Matt said on Us Weekly’s “Here for the Right Reasons” podcast about Rachael. “We’ve talked about living in the same city and what those next steps look like. Everything’s on the table.”

He added that the pair spent a lot of time in Miami. “I think Rachael was [hesitant about] Miami before I moved down there because it’s, like, the party connotation, but after spending a lot of time down there, [she’s] warming up to the fact — no pun intended — of being down there,” he said.

Credit: Courtesy of Matt James/Instagram

May 2022

Matt got candid about Rachael's racism controversy in his upcoming memoir, First Impressions, set to be released in May 2022. "I shared how it felt seeing her, a woman I loved, embody a role that had once so antagonized me,” he recalled. “She didn’t offer her ignorance as an excuse. Just a fact — she paired it with the facts of her remorse and regret. … She apologized for the pain I felt. I forgave her."

The couple didn’t immediately reconcile, with Matt revealing he played the field. "I took advantage of our undefined, gray space and reconnected with former flings... It was a mistake," he wrote, adding that Rachael felt “betrayed.”

After later meeting up in Atlanta, the duo decided to give their relationship another shot. “I decided to be better going forward. She had done self-work that I hadn’t reciprocated. I promised her that I was all in,” the former Bachelor penned, calling it “the best decision I could have made."

Credit: Sara Jaye Weiss/Shutterstock

July 2022

During a joint interview with Us, Rachael noted that the only timeline she gives Matt is for starting a family. “I was like, ‘I gotta have kids before, you know, I can’t have kids.’ So keep that in mind,” she told Us.

The duo also spoke about their “playful” dynamic. “I feel like with everything we go through and whatnot, I feel like it's pretty crucial to just have fun with one another no matter where we're at or what we're doing,” she said. “We got to make the most of everything."

Credit: Eric Jamison/AP/Shutterstock

August 2022

Rachael slammed a sports announcer who repeatedly declared that Matt was single during a celebrity basketball game he was competing in. "Anytime Matt would do something, announcer: 'Ladies, he's single,’” the Bachelor season 25 winner wrote via her Instagram Story. "Like what?!!?! literally a good 10 times."

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

September 2022

Rachael rang in her 26th birthday with Matt in New York City.

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

October 2022

“Fall things with my pumpkin 🧡,” the former Bachelor contestant wrote via Instagram.

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

November 2022

“You inspire me every single day, but especially on days like this one,” Rachael wrote in an Instagram tribute to Matt after he ran the New York City Marathon. “Congrats to everyone who ran the nyc marathon yesterday, you’re all crazy and I freaking love it 🖤.”

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

December 2022

The duo jetted off to Beaver Creek, Colorado, for a winter getaway.