“I was in a relationship that was not healthy for me … it crushed me,” Crawley, 42, shared during an in-depth episode of the “Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast,” released on Tuesday, August 8. “That relationship brought out the worst in me. It crushed me. It crushed my spirit. It crushed in so many ways who I was as a woman.”
Crawley made history as the oldest Bachelorette in the franchise’s history when she was name as the season 16 lead 2020. During her first night, she immediately connected with Moss, 34, and they got engaged less than two weeks later. After a brief split and subsequent reconciliation in early 2021, they called it quits for good that September.
While she didn’t mention Moss by name, Crawley spoke about how her happiness “dipped low” after being on the show, in part, because she felt like she was “begging somebody for their love” in various ways.
“It brought me down to a level that I didn’t want to be at, that I questioned myself,” Crawley continued of the relationship. “I thought I was asking for too much, I thought I was not a good communicator. All these things.”
Crawley went on to say that the tumultuous romance “paralyzed me temporarily,” recalling the “very last day” she spoke with Moss.
“[It] was the day I was told that I was going to have to go say goodbye to my mother because she was really, really sick then,” she shared, referring to her mom, Lilia, who suffers from dementia. “He basically said, ‘That’s not my problem.’ I begged him to please not leave me in that moment.”
It was at that moment Crawley reflected on the relationship and wondered why she was “begging this man to have human decency.”
Moss, for his part, previously claimed via a statement from his rep to Us Weekly in October 2022 that he “chose to immediately fly out to Sacramento” amid the news of Crawley’s mom’s health. The statement went on to say that Crawley “blocked” Moss’ number and the “next time Dale heard anything from Clare, it was on social media.”
Following Crawley’s split with Moss, she met now-husband Ryan Dawkins in fall 2021, whom she’s so “grateful” for.
“He’s so good to me, and is there in the darkest, deepest moments,” Crawley said getting choked up.
“Everything in my world has changed since I met her, she’s the love of my life and I wish the world knew the Clare that I know,” Dawkins exclusively told Us Weekly in October 2022. “She is one of the strongest women I know and is truly a light. I love our life and [am] beyond excited about our future.”
Moss, meanwhile, has been dating Galey Alix for more than a year.
“I think with anyone else’s relationship, you know, that’s their relationship,” he told Us Weekly in February, sharing well wishes to Crawley and Dawkins. “I’m solely focused on mine, but again, I wish nothing but the best. Love is a beautiful thing and I think it’s great when anyone finds that.”