“Probably one of the things that he likes about me is that I believe in conscious uncoupling, whether you’re uncoupling with a coworker, a spouse, a boyfriend,” Paltrow, 50, told Entertainment Tonight in an interview published on Wednesday, October 18. “I really do believe that if you’ve invested in somebody — and of course there are exceptions — to amputate that relationship [shows that] maybe you’re not then fully letting the full lesson reveal itself and the healing happen.” “
The Shakespeare in Love star explained that while a relationship with a former flame can “sometimes be uncomfortable” it can also be fulfilling to “work through it and reconnect with the value that someone once brought to your life.”
Paltrow and Pitt, 58, began dating in 1994 before getting engaged in 1996, though the pair called it quits later that same year. While the Goop founder revealed that she and the Fight Club star “weren’t friends for awhile” after their split, they “found our way back, probably about 18 or 19 years ago” and have stayed in touch ever since.
“I adore him,” Paltrow gushed of the Paper Girls producer. “He’s an amazing person, and he’s a great entrepreneur, and such a creative, and such a good person. I really love him. I’m a big fan.”
Following their breakup, Pitt went on to marry Jennifer Aniston in 2000 before divorcing five years later. He then moved on with Angelina Jolie, with whom he shares six children — Maddox, 21, Pax, 18, Zahara, 17, Shiloh, 16, and twins Knox and Vivienne, 14. The duo, who called it quits in 2016, after more than 10 years together, have been involved in a messy legal battle since their 2016 divorce.
Paltrow, for her part, married Coldplay frontman Chris Martin in December 2003. The pair welcomed daughter Apple in 2004, and son Moses in 2006, but divorced in 2016 after “consciously uncoupling” two years prior — a phrase the Sliding Doors star made famous at the time. Paltrow later married Falchuck in 2018 – a union the Oscar winner thinks works well because of the couple’s past experiences. (The director was previously married to Suzanne Bukinik from 1994 to 2013 and the two share children Isabella, 18, and Brody, 16)
“I think we’ve learned a lot from our first marriages,” Paltrow explained to ET on Wednesday. “I think we have a great almost reverence for commitment and building, continuing to nourish a marriage. We’ve become very good communicators, and so that’s a very important part.”
The California native also revealed that she and her hubby are in tune with each other’s love languages, which helps them communicate.
“The way I express love is by cooking and taking care of people that I love. so for me it’s really an important part of our weekend. His love language, acts of service, is really impactful for him, so for us it worked really well,” she shared. “We have amazing chemistry and so that’s a great part of a foundation. My body feels really good when he’s around, so that’s just luck.”