Sean “Diddy” Combs delivered a heartfelt eulogy to ex-girlfriend Kim Porter at her funeral in Columbus, Georgia, on Saturday, November 24, revealing that she helped him earlier this year as he battled depression.
“From the top of the year, I was going through a real dark time,” said Diddy, who dated the actress and model for 13 years until 2007, according to audio posted by TMZ. “I was really depressed, and I don’t know why, maybe it was cause I was getting older. I just went through a dark, dark time. And she would come over and make sure … we wasn’t together … She was just like, ‘Come on, Puff. You gotta get up, you gotta get up out the bed. You gotta get moving.'”
The Blast reports that Diddy spoke for 18 minutes during the service at Cascades Hill Church, which was attended by more than a thousand mourners including Mary J. Blige, Kimora Lee Simmons, Russell Simmons, Usher, DJ Khaled, NeNe Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Cynthia Bailey, Lil Kim and Faith Evans.
Speaking of the first time he saw Porter, who died at her L.A. home at the age of 47 on November 15, the rapper said he thought, “God, I hope one day I get me a girl like that.”
After they began dating in 1994, their relationship grew and changed. “She was my friend first. She was my confidante. She was like my guidance, still is. I was just open … We fell in love and honestly, her love was too much for me to handle. It was a lot to handle to take in,” he said.
Seemingly overwhelmed, Diddy, who shares three children — Christian, 20, and twin daughters Jessie James and D’Lila, 11, with Porter — told the crowd, “We didn’t really plan for this. I definitely thought I was going to go first. God didn’t have it be that way.”
Addressing his children as well as Porter’s son Quincy, with Al. B Sure, he said, “I just want to say, to my kids — Justin, Christian, D’Lila, Jessie, Chance, and the other man of the house, Quincy — your mother instilled in me this, that I pledge in front of everybody right now, that I will always be there for y’all. I will always take care of you. To the girls especially, we’re about to enter some different type of times. I want y’all to be able to talk to me about everything, and I mean everything.”
A source previously told Us Weekly that the musician was “inconsolable” over the loss of his ex. “Kim’s passing has turned his life upside down.”
Speaking of his emotions, the “I’ll Be Missing You” singer told the mourners, “I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m sad. I’m hurt. But I don’t feel she left. I’m not like, ‘Oh, she’s not here.’ People leave in the physical, but their energy, their vibration, their frequency, it lives on forever.”
Porter’s cause of death has been listed as “deferred” and is “pending investigation” following an autopsy, according to a death certificate obtained by Us.
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