“I think part of all the positives of having known each other for a really long time were there,” Graham, 55, told People in an interview published on Wednesday, November 2. “And one of the negatives of that is we almost came into a relationship as people in their 40s without asking any of the questions people in their 40s should be asking.”
The Gilmore Girls alum — who first met Krause, 57, in 1995 while appearing on an episode of Caroline in the City — noted that the exes “had such a good time together,” which may have distracted her from their differences.
“I didn’t maybe ask some fundamental questions about ‘What are your values and what do you envision?’ and those more grown-up things,” she confessed. “And then they just caught up with us.”
Graham began dating Krause in 2010 after they started playing siblings on NBC’s hit drama Parenthood. The pair’s romance continued for more than a decade, but in spring 2021 the Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life actress revealed that her relationship with the 9-1-1 star was tested during the coronavirus pandemic.
“I think the reentry was more difficult,” Graham said during an April 2021 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, noting that Krause quarantined with his 21-year-old son, Roman, when she was away for work. “It was more like they were the married couple, and I was the person who … they were like, ‘We don’t do it that way anymore.’ They were like, ‘No, no, no, this is how things happen.’”
Us Weekly confirmed in June that the twosome had quietly parted ways one year prior.
The Have I Told You This Already? Stories I Don’t Want to Forget to Remember author, however, didn’t let her heartbreak stop her from moving forward. In fact, Graham channeled a lot of her energy into writing her latest book, which comes out on Tuesday, November 15.
“I just was not going to let [the breakup] flatten me,” she explained to the outlet this month. “I was like, ‘OK, well, look at all the good stuff I have, and look at all the good times,’ and ‘I’m going to write this book.’ Thank goodness I have these outlets and these stories to tell.”
The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers star revealed that she “knew” she was “resilient because I just always have been.”
Growing up she recalled learning that “You take your knocks and don’t complain. That’s how I was always raised.”
Throughout her healing process, Graham chose to lean into her work and briefly rented a beach house before coming back to her home in Los Angeles.
“I’m less on the run,” the Because I Said So actress said, noting that time has helped her get closure. “Any pain still really has its moments. I was a contributor in the life of his child, and so we’re connected. And yes, I’m in a better place, but it’s still just a shame. It’s just sad to me.”
While the Hawaii native revealed that she is open to finding love again, she is currently focused on her career, which includes writing another book and enjoying the small things.
“I love a hot shower. I really love drinking tea and pretending I’m in the cast of The Crown. I have finally found pillows that I like,” she concluded. “I don’t know, I’m in a time of just enjoyment.”
Have I Told You This Already? Stories I Don’t Want to Forget to Remember hits bookshelves on Tuesday, November 15.