Everything Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler Have Said About Their Relationship

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Everything Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler Have Said About Their Relationship

It came as a surprise to fans when Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler announced their split on April 26, 2020, after seven years of marriage. "With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce," the Very Cavallari star captioned a photo of the pair on Instagram. "We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made, and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart. We ask everyone to respect our privacy as we navigate this difficult time within our family." The couple, who had been open about the ups and downs in their relationship, were dedicated to working on their marriage before their breakup, even seeking couples therapy. "There's no such thing as a perfect relationship," the former Laguna Beach star admitted on her reality show in April 2019. "Jay and I have problems — I've always been very vocal about that. We have to work at our relationship. … We definitely have issues." [sendtonews type="float" key="cNhudB93BN-2838759-14453"] The former Chicago Bears quarterback and Cavallari, who were set up by mutual pal Giuliana Rancic in 2010, tied the knot in June 2013 and share two sons — Camden and Jaxon — and a daughter, Saylor. The Uncommon James founder admitted that their marriage was tested after Cutler left the NFL following the 2017 season. "We went from it being about Jay's career and his schedule and everything, to now, Uncommon James has been really taking off and the show and everything, and he's at home," she said in January 2019. "So, it's just been trying to navigate this new normal. But I mean, things are fine. It's all good!" But shortly before their split, she admitted that their relationship was at "a low." While they have gone their separate ways, a source told Us Weekly exclusively that "there's nothing scandalous or suspect about their split. Honestly, they just fell out of love and grew apart." Scroll down to look back at everything the pair has said about their relationship. [podcast_block]

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Everything Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler Have Said About Their Relationship

It came as a surprise to fans when Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler announced their split on April 26, 2020, after seven years of marriage. "With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce," the Very Cavallari star captioned a photo of the pair on Instagram. "We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made, and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart. We ask everyone to respect our privacy as we navigate this difficult time within our family." The couple, who had been open about the ups and downs in their relationship, were dedicated to working on their marriage before their breakup, even seeking couples therapy. "There's no such thing as a perfect relationship," the former Laguna Beach star admitted on her reality show in April 2019. "Jay and I have problems — I've always been very vocal about that. We have to work at our relationship. … We definitely have issues." [sendtonews type="float" key="cNhudB93BN-2838759-14453"] The former Chicago Bears quarterback and Cavallari, who were set up by mutual pal Giuliana Rancic in 2010, tied the knot in June 2013 and share two sons — Camden and Jaxon — and a daughter, Saylor. The Uncommon James founder admitted that their marriage was tested after Cutler left the NFL following the 2017 season. "We went from it being about Jay's career and his schedule and everything, to now, Uncommon James has been really taking off and the show and everything, and he's at home," she said in January 2019. "So, it's just been trying to navigate this new normal. But I mean, things are fine. It's all good!" But shortly before their split, she admitted that their relationship was at "a low." While they have gone their separate ways, a source told Us Weekly exclusively that "there's nothing scandalous or suspect about their split. Honestly, they just fell out of love and grew apart." Scroll down to look back at everything the pair has said about their relationship. [podcast_block]

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

She Was Smitten

The couple got engaged in April 2011 and shortly before the football star got down on one knee and popped the question, Cavallari told Us why she was so smitten. "Jay is a good Midwestern boy; he's a gentleman," she told Us. "He opens up car doors and he did the laundry today, which I thought is pretty cool, so he's a good boy. We're in love!"

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Breaking Up to Make Up

The pair split three months after getting engaged, only to reunite in November 2011. The reality TV star explained in her 2016 book, Balancing in Heels, why she was the one to break things off. "At that moment, something wasn't right," she wrote. "A few things needed to change, and I knew the only way Jay would see how serious I was, was if I ended the relationship." One of the issues was that Cavallari didn't want to give up her career after they wed. "If I stayed at home, I wouldn't be happy," the shoe designer wrote. "And would probably end up resenting Jay for it."

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Happily Married

Cavallari and Cutler, who welcomed their first child in August 2012, tied the knot in June 2013. "I feel like with Jay and I, now we're really ready to get married," she told E! News. "Two years ago, we weren't ready. If we would have gotten married I don't think it would have worked out. But I feel like now we're in such a good place and it's the perfect time to do it."

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Intimacy Is Important

While pregnant with the couple's third child, Cavallari opened up about juggling motherhood and marriage. "It's so important to make time for each other, even if it's just waiting to eat dinner after the kids go to bed," she wrote in a blog post for Cricket's Circle. "And even if it's takeout, light a candle and make an effort to connect. Also, you gotta have sex — men need it, and it's important for the relationship. It doesn't have to be all the time, but you have to get it in there sometimes!"

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Fatherhood Changed His Priorities

The football star opened up about how his outlook on life has changed after he settled down with his wife and became a dad of three. "As you get older and having Kristin and the boys and now a daughter there's a lot more to think about. It's not just you," he told the Chicago Tribune in January 2016. "Having kids helps you realize how selfish you can be as a person, rather quickly. These have all been things I haven't mastered, but I'm definitely more aware of."

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Working on Being a Better Man

Cutler also told the Chicago Tribune that he wasn't the same guy who joined the Bears in 2009. "You look at your 2006 self when [I] came into the league and it's a drastic change. But if you're not trying to get better in certain aspects of your life, you're just going to stay the same," he said. "I think we can all improve. Things at home, things in your life away from work, if they're not in order, it's definitely going to affect your professional business."

He also talked about how he supported his wife when her brother, Michael Cavallari, went missing and was later found dead in December 2015. "It's always tough and it's still hard for Kristin and she's extremely mentally tough and strong as a person. I was more in a role of comforting and trying to help her through it. It wasn't easy. There were a couple of weeks when it was really rocky and we didn't know what was happening. I think everyone expected the worst and prepared for it. But whenever you finally get that news, you're really never ready for it. It's still something that we're working through, but it will get better."

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They Saw a Couples Therapist

Cavallari admitted in her 2016 book, Balancing in Heels, that they sought professional help. "I credit [our therapist] for saving our relationship," she wrote. "She opened up our eyes to the other person's perspective and gave us great tools for communication. … We still periodically see her to this day." Cutler admitted to the Chicago Tribune that their therapist and the Bears' in-house sports psychologist helped him to get "insight on some things." "You start seeing things differently," he said. "That definitely has helped me deal with stuff."

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Making a Conscious Effort

The Hills alum told Us exclusively in June 2017 that they were working on their relationship. "Honestly, I think communication and it's so much easier said than done. I know that Jay and I have to make a conscious effort. You have to put in work for a relationship," she told Us. "You can't just get complacent and lazy. You have to still value and appreciate the other person. I think that when you don't that's probably when you start to get in trouble. And, I mean, we have our issues. Our relationship isn't perfect. But we love each other and we work on it and we make a conscious choice to work on the relationship and I think that that's what you just have to do."

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Hands-On Dad

Cavallari told Us in 2017 that they were "completely done" having kids, saying that her two boys and daughter made for "a complete family." She also praised her husband as "the most hands-on dad on the planet." "I mean, he really is great," she told Us. "He's on the floor playing with the kids. He's alone with the kids right now while I'm here in Utah. He's changing diapers, he's getting them dressed, he's even doing Saylor's hair … I honestly couldn't ask for a better husband and better dad."

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Finding a Balance

As she got busier with her lifestyle brand, Uncommon James, the entrepreneur admitted in 2018 that she was finding it "hard to balance it all," and conceded that "I could probably put a little more attention on Jay and probably myself as well."

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Redefining Their Relationship

Cavallari said on her E! show in February 2019 that their marriage was "in a serious funk." "When you were playing football, I had to give up my whole life," she told Cutler. "I don't feel that from you." She admitted that they had "switched roles," with her career gaining momentum after he retired from the NFL following the 2017 season. "My career has really picked up, so it's been great 'cause I couldn't do it without him," she added.

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Hitting a Rough Patch

The pair got candid about their marital problems on an April 2019 episode of Very Cavallari. "There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Jay and I have problems — I've always been very vocal about that," she said. "We have to work at our relationship. … We definitely have issues."

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He Supported Her

She noted in a March 2020 episode of her reality show that the athlete was her support system during her feud with her ex-best friend Kelly Henderson. "It's been a bit of a rocky year. I feel like the older you get, the more you realize who is supposed to be in your life," Cavallari told her husband. "You figure out who your real friends are — friends come and go. It's nice that I have you as my constant. You're my common denominator."

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Hitting a Low Point

"From the outside, like, things are so perfect and things are so great," Cavallari said on the April 7, 2020, episode. "But actually, like, they're not. And that sucks. It sucks. That's the thing, though, with marriage — it's ups and downs. Right now we're in a low, but in two months we could be up here again. And that's how we've always been, our whole relationship. It is what it is."

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Calling It Quits

"With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce," Cavallari and Cutler announced on Instagram on April 26, 2020. "We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made, and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart. We ask everyone to respect our privacy as we navigate this difficult time within our family."

Credit: Courtesy of Jay Cutler/Instagram

Mother’s Day Moment

“Happy Mother’s day to all the moms. These 3 little ones picked a good one,” Cutler wrote via Instagram in May 2020, giving his estranged wife a sweet shout-out.

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Father’s Day Fun

“Saved the best for last….happy (late) Father’s Day to Jay,” the Uncommon James founder wrote via Instagram in June 2020 alongside a throwback photo of her three kids sitting on the sidelines of a football field. “We had a beautiful day together yesterday at my new house. Modern family? Co-parenting? Whatever you want to call it, we are navigating it the best way we know how.”

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What Really Matters

The True Comfort author exclusively told Us in August 2020 that “this is the first time in a very long time that I feel like I can take a breath.” Four months after calling it quits, Cavallari revealed she was working on herself and her business. “I’m enjoying things slowed down and having more time to focus on what really matters in life. I want to take this extra time I have right now to better myself and be the best mom I can be and continue to grow my business,” she explained. “I’m not thinking about what I want to be doing next year or the year after that. I’ve driven myself crazy with that mentality the past few years. Right now, I just want to be present and enjoy this journey.”

The mother of three added: “To feel my best, I have to make sure I’m making myself a priority. And for me that means working out, eating healthy and having balance in my life. Getting rid of the things that don’t bring me joy. … I hate negativity. I will run the other way from it, but I’ve had to learn how to cut toxicity out of my life as I’ve gotten older.”

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Breaking Her Silence

The Very Cavallari alum opened up about her split from Cutler in September 2020, telling People, “It didn’t happen overnight. We tried really, really hard for years and years. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. … I still care so much about him and talk to him almost every day.”

Cavallari explained that the former couple “had so much love for each other” until they “grew up.” She noted that “a year ago I felt like I was drowning,” so filing for divorce was the right choice for her. “I’m proud for making this decision. I feel like my whole world is opening up now because of it, and I’m just feeling the best I’ve felt in a really long time,” she added.

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Long Time Coming

The True Roots author told Entertainment Tonight in September 2020 that separating from the former NFL star was “not an easy decision, obviously.” She revealed that it was “something that I truly thought about every single day for over two years.” Looking back at the “hardest decision” she’s ever made, Cavallari doesn’t regret it. “My mom used to say, ‘You’ll know when it’s time,’” she recalled. “I feel like that was true. I knew. And that’s that.”

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The Good With the Bad

“I’m feeling really good to be honest,” Cavallari exclusively told Us in October 2020, after being asked about how she’s adapting to single life. “I have found the adjustment to be pretty smooth.” She added: “I mean, there’s good days and bad days, but I’m feeling really good right now. I’m feeling really happy and really free and that’s a nice feeling.”

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Family First

The Laguna Beach alum told Us in October 2020 that she planned to spend Thanksgiving “as a family” with Cutler and their three kids. The couple, however, appeared to celebrate as Cutler joined Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher’s dinner. “I’m happy that we’re able to spend it together and have these conversations even though we’re in the middle of getting a divorce,” she said ahead of the holiday. “So, I’m thankful for where we’re currently at. We’re in a solid enough place that we’re able to do that, and I’m really thankful for that.”

The reality TV star admitted that she is “hesitant” to give coparenting advice since “everybody’s situation is so different,” but told Us that the estranged couple are “navigating the best way we know how.” She added: “We’re just trying to do what’s best for the kids. I know the kids are our No. 1 priority.”

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Dating Woes

Cutler got real about how tough dating is amid his divorce during an August 2021 episode of his “Uncut With Jay Cutler” podcast. “It’s hard as hell really,” he said. “Meeting people is hard. I think finding out what people really want from you; I think that’s probably an issue.”

The father of three noted that his kids are now a major factor into who and when he goes out with someone. “I’m at a different phase of my life now with kids. Priorities have changed,” he added. “It isn’t just a purely selfish play by my part.”

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Key to Coparenting

“Everyone’s situation is different,” Cavallari exclusively told Us in August 2021 of how she and Cutler amicably raise their little ones. “I think the most important thing, and I learned this from my mom, was to always just never speak badly about the other person. To be as much of a united front as you can be.” She explained that they “always put their kids first,” because their sons and daughter are “the most important thing.”

Credit: Courtesy of Jay Cutler/Instagram

Date Debacle

“Jay and I actually went on a couple of dates, like, months and months and months ago. But then I was, like, it’s not there for me anymore,” the True Comfort author said during an October 2021 episode of the “Off the Vine” podcast. “The thing with Jay is, we aren’t getting our divorce because of love lost, which made it really challenging because we were crazy about each other.”

Cavallari revealed that their split and subsequent rebounding only made things harder. “I just decided I didn’t want to be in a toxic relationship anymore and I had to break it off,” she continued. “But then going back and dating him a little bit made me reaffirm it, like, ‘No, I know that I’m doing the right decision.’”

Credit: Courtesy of Kristin Cavallari/Instagram

Roller-Coaster Parenting Dynamic

The former Hills star told Kaitlyn Bristowe during an October 2021 episode of her “Off the Vine” podcast that she and Cutler have had a “roller-coaster” coparenting relationship since their breakup.

"This is what I've said to my friends: 'If I didn't have kids with Jay, I would never talk to him again, but now I have to talk to him a lot,’” Cavallari said at the time. “The coparenting thing is hard.”

The mother of three explained that since she came from divorced parents, she knew when to pull the plug on her relationship with Cutler. “I didn’t want my kids growing up thinking this is a good relationship,” she said. “I got to see my mom remarried and be in a good relationship, so I knew what one was. I wanted my kids to see me happy.”