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Marina Squerciati Breaks Down Heartbreaking ‘Chicago P.D.’ Story Line: ‘How Do You Get Through That?’ (Exclusive)

Warning: This story contains spoilers from the Wednesday, February 5, episode of Chicago P.D.

Heartbreak all around. During the latest episode of Chicago P.D., Kim Burgess (Marina Squerciati) was sidelined to work at the 9-1-1 call center due to her pregnancy. However, after receiving a call from a crying girl opened up a bigger case, she couldn’t just sit by and wait.

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Instead, she followed the case as much as possible. When she finally spoke to the young girl again, who was now hiding inside a motel room, she tried to wait for backup. When the young woman began to scream, she knew she couldn’t wait and entered the room anyway. While Burgess did save her, she was also attacked by a man who kidnapped and trafficked women. At the end of the episode, while laying in a hospital bed, the doctors revealed to Burgess she had lost the baby.

“She can’t catch a break. I kind of always felt that it was coming. I didn’t know it would come so soon,” Squarciati, 35, told Us Weekly exclusively about the heartbreaking miscarriage. “I guess it was very important that we really work hard on this episode and make it realistic, fragile and fraught and so that nothing was easy. I mean we’re losing a baby.”

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Marina Squerciati as Officer Kim Burgess on Chicago P.D. Elizabeth Sisson/NBC

The actress, 35, admitted that the battle inside Burgess is an extremely difficult one because of the situation.

“It’s not all good and it’s not all bad so how do you get through that? I feel like if it was black or white, she’d be able to come out of it easier and I think this will stay with her longer,” she continued. “When she feels bad about what she did, it’s almost like she’s regretting the life of the woman she saved. When she feels good about what she did, then she’s not regretting the life of the child she didn’t. So there’s just no easy way through it.”

Burgess will, of course, take some time off following the miscarriage and “no one can get through” to her — not even Ruzek (Patrick Flueger).

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“I realize as Marina, that Ruzek is sort of reaching out and reaching out and reaching out and kind of gets blown off. But as Burgess, it’s almost like she doesn’t have space to take care of anyone else’s emotions right now,” Squerciati explained. “She doesn’t have room for that. And I think we’ll get to a place where she’s able to reach out to Ruzek but not yet.”

When the pair first became pregnant, the Gossip Girl alum revealed to Us that while she does see them ending up together in the end, it’s not the right time. However, with everything they are now going through, this may bring them together in the long run.

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Marina Squerciati as Officer Kim Burgess and Patrick John Flueger as Officer Adam Ruzek on Chicago P.D. Matt Dinerstein/NBC

“I do think that. It looks like — I’m not really sure, but it does look like, once my emotions crest, that maybe Ruzek will be able to deal with his emotions,” the New York native told Us. “He’s sort of more focused on me and less focused on him. Once I’m through the grieving process, he kind of needs to go through that, as well.”

Once she does get back to work, however, things aren’t going to be easy and could include her “putting herself into more dangerous situations” as a distraction.

Related: One Chicago's Most Shocking Exits

“She’s dead inside. She’s throwing herself into work, not allowing herself to lean into Ruzek and it just, how does Burgess get trouble? She loves too much, she hurts too much and so she wants to shut that part down,” Squerciati said. “That little girls’ voice was what threw her and put her in this dangerous situation and not everyone would do that.”

Chicago P.D. airs on NBC Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.

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