“I think the ‘I Lied’ chapter was probably the hardest one for me to write. … Everyone will know that that is about Jax [Taylor],” the 37-year-old reality TV star told Us Weekly exclusively. “I don’t say the names, but I just want everyone to know that did not happen with another person. I think it’s pretty apparent, so I’m not really giving anything away. But with that one it was difficult because I felt so much guilt about my mistake that I didn’t feel that I really deserved any sort of platform to speak my mind about it or say my piece.”
“But at the end of the day, this is my book and this is my voice and with my self-love, I had to say, ‘You know what, I’m not blaming him for this, I’m actually taking the heat for it,’” she told Us. “I just want to explain where my brain was at because I think a lot of women have gone through this and, you know, they have had affairs or they’ve messed up or they’ve lied about something. But there’s a reason for it. And it’s not to take the blame off of myself, but it’s just to explain where my brain was at in that moment.”
In the upcoming book, coauthored by How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days author Michele Alexander, Doute refers to her affair with Taylor as a “scarlet letter” she’s had to wear.
“I do think that it is something that people are going to talk about for a very, very long time,” she told Us, noting that it can be frustrating for the indiscretion to come up repeatedly on Vanderpump Rules. “As far as cast members, I don’t think it’s something that people in my life should be holding on to anymore if they’ve moved past it. So the frustrating part only lies in people bringing it back up as if it’s something that is still current right now. But I do understand from a fan point of view that it’s something that people are always going to talk about, and that’s something I’ve accepted and I’ve forgiven myself at this point. And I think Jax has forgiven himself, and I think we’ve forgiven each other and I know that Tom has forgiven me. So that to me is enough.”
Doute and Sandoval, 36, split shortly after she admitted she slept with Taylor. While the TomTom co-owner moved on with Ariana Madix, Taylor went on to marry Brittany Cartwright in June 2019. The James Mae CEO told Us that she warned both Madix, 34, and Cartwright, 31, that she was writing about their significant others in the book, even though she didn’t name names.
“[Keeping the names out] had nothing to do with, like, protecting the innocent. I don’t think anyone is innocent in this book. But I thought truly that it would be so much grander for the reader to read if it was just left as a simple key or like a pseudonym as we use often because I want women to be reading the story and not about the who,” she told Us. “I didn’t ask permission from anyone because essentially they’re my stories and I gave myself that right to write how I felt. But I did reach out to both Brittany and Ariana and just kind of gave them a heads up that there were going to be some things about, you know, Brittany’s husband and Ariana, her long term boyfriend. … I even let Ariana read a little bit of it in regarding the chapter that’s about Tom and Ariana. They were both like, you know, ‘Do you girl.’”
While Doute’s friendship with Madix came as a surprise for Vanderpump Rules viewers, she dives deeper into how they made amends in the book.
“She and I are so, so close now,” Doute told Us. “It’s been so many years. And [not including our reconciliation] was one thing that really frustrated us about Vanderpump Rules. … There was such a temperature change I feel when she and I were no longer, like, salty toward each other. And I thought it was such an important transition that they never focused on. So I felt it was really important to include.”
He’s Making You Crazy hits stores June 2, but is available for preorder now.Listen on Spotify to Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood as each week the editors of Us break down the hottest entertainment news stories!
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