Every Time the ‘Sex/Life’ Cast Discussed the Show’s Steamy Sex Scenes

Credit: Amanda Matlovich/Netflix

Every Time the ‘Sex/Life’ Cast Discussed the Show’s Steamy Sex Scenes

Putting it all out there! After premiering on Netflix in June 2021, Sex/Life has captivated fans with its portrayal of mother and housewife Billie (Sarah Shahi) attempting to find more fulfillment in her life. The drama follows Billie in her marriage to husband Cooper (Mike Vogel). As Billie struggles to find more meaning in herself, she begins to write about her past relationship with ex-boyfriend Brad (Adam Demos). Through that trip down memory lane, Shahi and Demos offered viewers several iconic sex scenes. Shahi, who was previously married to Steve Howey from 2009 until 2020 and has since been dating Demos, explained that the role felt very liberating for her when it came to how sex was handled throughout the arc of her story. [jwplayer 9FJGVy2d-l3ahXupL] “I have always been trying to get into projects like this. I just never got hired,” the actress exclusively told Us Weekly in June 2021. “Everyone was always trying to hire me to be the tough chick and paid me to keep my clothes on. I’ve been wanting to be a bit risky and cry and show emotional vulnerability for a while now.” The Texas native noted that having so many women working behind the scenes allowed for a more meaningful experience when it came to the show's main message. "I think once I found out too that this is a piece that was written by a woman — all the writers are women, [it’s] directed by all women, it was just such an ability to stand for something, to stand for femininity, to be able to be a voice in a way that I felt was really important for women," she told Us at the time. "You can be a mom and still want to be the sexual goddess at the same time. You don’t have to lose one for the other.” Vogel, whose character spends season 1 trying to keep his marriage intact, said that the female gaze approach to the show's sex scenes was "interesting" for him as an actor. "I can only speak for guys in this instance, but I think that we look at it different. I jokingly said to her [creator Stacy Rukeyser], 'Use me!' To have the tables turned for once," he told Monsters and Critics in June 2021. "I’m a father of two daughters, and to have full voice given to the complications of female desire and passion and motherhood and being a wife and a spouse and all of those things, I’m honored to be a part of something that puts the focal point on those things in any role that I could play to sort of help service that. I was honored to play." Scroll through to see all the things the cast members of Sex/Life have said about the show's steamy scenes: [podcast_block]

Credit: Netflix

An Empowering Experience

“I’ve often felt that when you have sex scenes in film and television — unless it’s a lesbian piece — they’re kind of depicted through the male point of view. It’s often the woman having sex the way a man wants to have sex,” Shahi told Us in June about the experience.

The City on a Hill actress added: “I thought this was a real opportunity to flip that on its head. Now, you have female sexuality represented by women on screen. … I felt like this was such a statement, to show that we are these incredible sexual beings.”

Credit: Netflix

Playing it Back

In a video released on the official Sex/Life Instagram page, the real-life couple rewatched their rooftop sex scene from the show together.

“Oh, my God, I’m about to be naked. Ugh!” Shahi reacted to the clip showing her preparing to strip down. “This was like the coldest day in Canada.”

Demos teased his girlfriend, saying, “You look so much more enjoyable than you do.” IS THIS RIGHT? 

As the August 2021 rewatch continued, Shahi tried to cover up Demos' eyes as they kissed on screen.

“I wanna watch it,” the UnReal alum told her. “How warm and relaxing does it look there?”

The Rookie alum responded, “I know, it looks really romantic."

Credit: Amanda Matlovich/Netflix

Forming a Connection

During an August 2021 Instagram interview with theSkimm, the Alias alum reflected on getting to film such intimate scenes with someone she was developing feelings for at the time.

“As an actor, we spend a lot of time sort of faking that kind of intimacy with somebody,” she noted. “But what was interesting from my point of view is to fall for the person that you’re supposed to be falling for on camera, it kind of adds an extra bit. You’re kind of like, ‘Oh, I don’t know if this is anything I could have acted.’”

The actress also responded to online theories about her boyfriend wearing a prosthetic during the iconic full-frontal scene in the third episode.

“It’s just not my place to tell,” Shahi teased in response. “A woman never kisses and tells, and neither does a gentleman, so …”

Credit: Courtesy of Netflix

Making the Adjustment

"I had so many nude scenes in succession that by the end, I was just like, 'Well, a body's a body.' But the intimacy part of it—that was always nerve-wracking," Shahi told Refinery29 in June 2021.

She added: "I got to know myself in a more spiritual way, in a more sexual way, and become more uninhibited myself."

Credit: Netflix/Kobal/Shutterstock

Keeping It Real

Demos got honest about whether he chose to use a body double for his viral sex scenes on the Netflix show.

"I was OK with it because you read the script and know what you're getting yourself into from the start, so I don't think you would sign on to a show after reading the scripts and then say no last minute," he shared with Entertainment Weekly in June 2021.

Although he made the decision to do the scenes himself, for Demos it was still important to make sure everyone felt OK during filming.

"That doesn't mean you can't have discussions about comfort level, which they allowed us to have — and with the intimacy coordinator, so it felt a lot safer," Demos told EW.

Credit: Netflix

The New Normal?

Vogel admitted that after working on season 1 of Sex/Life, he wasn't sure if he would ever really "get comfortable" with the nudity in his scenes with Shahi.

"I think day two, we had our first intimate scene, and there was no dipping your toe in the water. It’s just a “Here we go.”  By the end of the show, they’re throwing our clothes at us, saying, 'Could you guys put your clothes back on?' We’re like, 'Well, we’re just going to go again. So, what’s the point? It’s a bother,'" he detailed to Monsters and Critics in June 2021. “'No, you don’t understand. You guys need to put your clothes back on.' So, there’s a little bit of getting more comfortable with it, but I don’t think you ever get comfortable with it."

Credit: Courtesy of Casey Hudecki/Instagram

Keeping It Safe

Ahead of season two, star Margaret Odette highlighted the importance of intimacy coordinator Casey Hudecki's role on set. "I think there was a really lovely rapport between Casey and I that we established from season one that was able to carry over into season two," the actress said in a February 2023 interview with the YouTube channel DC Film Girl.

She continued: "And Sasha gets into a lot of fun scenarios this season, so it was certainly very important to have her support and to have her guidance as we built what we felt were varied and engaging sex scenes, but that were also very truthful to what would bring Sasha the greatest amount of pleasure."

Demos also praised Hudecki during the interview, calling her a "safe space for us all."

"I think if it looks realistic and stuff like that it’s because we felt so safe and comfortable," he added. "And because the closed sets and the environment that they created for us was one that we could all feel — I mean, safe is the word, really. And yeah, we were very lucky with that. She’s incredible."

Credit: Sabrina Lantos/Netflix

Game For Anything

Shahi shared her thoughts on one of season two’s spiciest scenes, in which her character, Billie, runs her finger down Majid's (Darius Homayoun) back before placing it more private parts of his body. "The camera guys couldn’t even look,” the actress joked in a March 2023 interview with Today.com. “[They said] We’re just going to push record and step away.”

She added: "Thank goodness he [Homayoun] was so game for it."