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Chrissy Teigen Feels ‘Remorse’ Over Not Seeing Late Son Jack’s Face After Pregnancy Loss: I’m ‘Full of Regret’

Five months after her pregnancy loss, Chrissy Teigen misses her late son, Jack, “so much.”

Related: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's Family Album

The Cravings author, 35, shared throwback photos on Thursday, February 4, from her husband John Legend’s “Wild” music video shoot where she revealed her pregnancy news.

“I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy,” the Bring the Funny judge captioned the Instagram slideshow. “I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks. Not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing, but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so.”

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The model went on to write that her third child was supposed to arrive “any day now,” adding, “If he were like [my daughter], Luna, and [my son], Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak. I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse. This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over, but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule.”

Teigen concluded by addressing her late baby boy. “I love you Jack,” the Utah native wrote. “I miss you so so much.”

The Chrissy’s Court star revealed in September 2020 that she had delivered the infant after a partial placenta abruption. She posted emotional black-and-white photos at the time of herself and Legend, 42, cradling their late son in the hospital.

“I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness,” Teigen wrote of the experience in an October 2020 Medium essay. “Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. … Utter and complete sadness. … I asked the nurses to show me his hands and feet, and I kissed them over and over and over again. I have no idea when I stopped. It could have been 10 minutes or an hour.”

The Lip Sync Battle cohost clapped back at criticism over the intimate photos she shared, saying they were “only for the people who need them.”

Teigen explained, “I lived it, I chose to do it and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. … The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”

Related: Elsa! Ariel! See Chrissy Teigen’s Daughter Luna Rocking Princess Dresses

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model underwent surgery for her endometriosis on Wednesday, February 3, and wrote that she felt a “bit off” so close to Jack’s due date.

Chrissy Teigen Feels ‘Remorse’ Over Not Seeing Late Son Jack’s Face After Pregnancy Loss: I’m ‘Full of Regret'
Chrissy Teigen. MediaPunch/Shutterstock

“I know kids are extremely antsy beings normally, but they absolutely absolutely flail, high kick and tornado more when you tell them to be careful around your healing body??” she tweeted of Luna, 4, and Miles, 2, at the time. “They feel the calm energy and they MUST f–kin break it STAT!”

The little ones have been helping their parents heal, Teigen revealed in a November 2020 Good Morning America interview. “They bring so much joy, every single day and so much adventure every day,” she said. “You don’t want to be stuck in bed when you hear the laughter downstairs. It helps so much.”

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