Demi Moore Gets Real About Her Painful Childhood, Drugs, Ashton Kutcher and Other Exes in New Book ‘Inside Out’

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Demi Moore Gets Real About Her Painful Childhood, Drugs, Ashton Kutcher and Other Exes in New Book ‘Inside Out’

Real talk. Demi Moore got candid about a variety of topics in her new book, Inside Out, including her famous exes, substance abuse struggles and her heartbreaking sexual assault. “The same question kept going through my head: How did I get here?” the 56-year-old actress began in the memoir, which was released on Tuesday, September 24. “The husband who I’d thought was the love of my life had cheated on me and then decided he didn’t want to work on our marriage. My children weren’t speaking me. … Is this life? I wondered. Because if this is it, I’m done.” Moore provided insight into all three of her marriages in the book. She was married to Freddy Moore from 1980 to 1985, Bruce Willis from 1987 to 2000 and Ashton Kutcher from 2005 to 2013. The end of the G.I. Jane star’s relationship with the former That 70’s Show star, however, seemed to have the biggest impact on her. “I lost me,” the Ghost actress told Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America on Monday, September 23, about their split. “I think the thing if I were to look back, I would say I blinded myself and I lost myself.” Moore and Kutcher, who is 15 years her junior, started dating in 2003. After Us Weekly broke the news that he was allegedly unfaithful in 2011, the twosome called it quits. The Ranch star married Mila Kunis in July 2015. They share two kids: Wyatt, 4, and Dimitri, 2. Kutcher, for his part, reflected on the divorce during an appearance on Dax Shepard’s “Armchair Expert” podcast last year. “Right after I got divorced, I went to the mountains for a week by myself,” Kutcher told Shepard in February 2018. “I did no food, no drink — just water and tea. I took all my computers away, my phone, my everything. I was there by myself, so there was no talking. I just had a notepad, a pen and water and tea — for a week.” [jwplayer QnROSTfq-l3ahXupL] He referred to the trip as “really spiritual and kind of awesome.” “I wrote down every single relationship that I had where I felt like there was some grudge or some anything, regret, anything,” Kutcher explained. “And I wrote letters to every single person, and on day seven, I typed them all out and then sent them.” While Moore certainly doesn’t hold back in Inside Out, a source told Us earlier this month that the Kutcher isn’t worried about the book. “Ashton knew what was coming. He had a heads up on what is in the book,” the insider said on September 13. “He’s not mad or disappointed. This is Demi’s truth, and he always felt sympathetic toward her. He knows her story and that her upbringing was difficult.” Inside Out is available now. Scroll through for 10 revelations from the book:

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On Her Painful Childhood

Moore detailed her parents’ tumultuous relationship in the book, noting her mother, Virginia Guynes, attempted suicide more than once.  

“The next thing I remember is using my fingers, the small fingers of a child, to dig the pills my mother had tried to swallow out of her mouth while my father held it open and told me what to do,” Moore, who was 12 at the time, recalled. “Something very deep inside me shifted then, and it never shifted back. My childhood was over.”  

Years later, she learned that the man she believed was her father, Dan Guynes, wasn’t her biological dad. She made the connection after she found her presumed parents’ wedding license, which was dated a year after her birth.

“My mother dropped the bomb the second we walked in the door: ‘Demi knows,’” she wrote. “In no time, she had a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and she seemed high on the drama of the situation — the power if had given her to hurt him.”

Dan left shortly after the revelation.

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On Her Sexual Assault

Moore revealed that her mother brought her to bars as a teenager. When she was 15 years old, she came home to find a man waiting for her.

“I have blotted out the exact sequence of events — the details that led from me opening the front door, to wondering if my mother had given him a key, to feeling trapped in my own home with a man three times my age and twice my size, to him raping me,” she wrote. “I had nobody to protect me.”

After the man returned to their home to help her and her mother move, he told Moore that her mother was paid money for permission to have sex with her: “How does it feel to be whored by your mother for $500?”

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On Her Marriage to Freddy Moore

Moore admitted to having an affair with her first husband, Freddy Moore.  

“I was a self-absorbed teenager who hadn’t been raised with a lot of respect for the institution of marriage,” she wrote, noting she was 16 when they met. “And I jumped into life with Freddy without, I’m sorry to say, much concern for his wife.”

Moore also confessed that she cheated on the musician the night before their 1980 wedding. They finalized their divorce in 1985.

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On Her Past Loves

The actress detailed her relationships with actors Jon Cryer, Rob Lowe and Emilio Estevez in the book. She hooked up with Kutcher’s future Two and a Half Men costar while filming No Small Affair. Moore had also starting using cocaine at the same time.

“Jon fell for me in real life, too, and lost his virginity to me while we were making that movie,” she wrote. “It pains me to think of how callous I was with his feelings — that I stole what could have been such an important and beautiful moment from him.”

(Cryer denied Moore's claim that she took his virginity via Twitter.) 

On the set of St. Elmo’s Fire, which Moore barely remembers because of her drug use, she recalled “one ill-advised late night” with Lowe. Moore had kinder words to say about Estevez, whom she dated on and off for two years. “In truth, I liked all my costars and remind close to some of them today, but the person who stands out from this period is, of course, Emilio,” she wrote about her ex-fiancé.  

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On Substance Abuse Issues

Moore wrote about doing cocaine while filming the 1984 movie Blame It on Rio. Her “appetite” for the drug quickly escalated, she explained, noting she scored cocaine from a dentist and her business manager. She checked into treatment after a movie executive demanded she get help. Moore was sober for two decades after just a 30-day stint.

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On Her Eating Disorder

Moore was told to lose weight while auditioning for the 1986 film About Last Night because she wasn’t “leading-lady thin.”

Her “obsession with working out” returned after she gave birth to her second daughter, Scout, with then-husband Bruce Willis in 1991.

“I didn’t feel like I could stop exercising,” she wrote. “It was my job to fit into that unforgiving military uniform I’d be wearing in two months in A Few Good Men. Getting in shape for that movie launched the obsession with working out that would consume me over the next five years.”

While filming Striptease in 1996, Moore became obsessed with what she was eating, consuming “half cup of oatmeal” for breakfast and “protein and some vegetables” for the rest of the day.

“If all this obsessing about my body sounds crazy to you, you’re not wrong: eating disorders are crazy, they are a sickness. But that doesn’t make them less real,” she explained.

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On Bruce Willis Marriage

Moore claimed that Willis, whom she married 1987, told her he didn’t know if he wanted to be married after she gave birth to their eldest daughter, Rumer.

“But Bruce didn’t want to be the guy who walked out on his family, who did that to his kid,” she wrote. “When he left to do Hudson Hawk, things were in a very precious state. I went over to visit once, and, frankly, I had the feeling that he had screwed around.”

Moore and Willis finalized their divorce in 2000. They share three daughters: Rumer, Scout and Tallulah.

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On Her Relapse

Moore revealed that she relapsed during her relationship with Kutcher.

“Ashton was enjoying a glass of good red wine when he said, ‘I don’t know if alcoholism is a real thing — I think it’s all about moderation,’” Moore recalled. “I wanted to be that girl. The girl who could have a glass of wine at dinner, or do a tequila shot at a party. In my mind, Ashton wanted that, too.”

While celebrating her 45th birthday in 2007, Moore nearly drowned in a hot tub. After the incident, she claimed that Kutcher was “furious,” which confused her because he “encouraged” her to “go in this direction.”

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On Miscarriage With Ashton Kutcher

Moore wrote that she had “never been so happy” in her life when she started seeing Kutcher in 2003. A year and a half into their relationship, however, Moore, who was 42 at the time, learned she was pregnant.

Six months later, she had a miscarriage. In the book, Moore revealed that the couple were expecting a baby girl who they planned to name Chaplin Ray.

“It was my fault, I felt for sure: if only I hadn’t opened the door to drinking, I never would have lost the baby. Even worse, I was still smoking when I found out I was pregnant, and it took me a few weeks to quit completely,” she explained. “I was wracked with guilt and convinced what had happened was my doing.”

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On Ashton Kutcher’s Alleged Affairs

Moore claimed that Kutcher suggested the twosome have threesomes during their marriage. “There was two different people we opened our relationship to, and they didn’t have bad intentions … They were good people, but it was still a mistake,” she explained.

After learning that Kutcher had allegedly cheated, Moore blamed herself for allowing “a third party” into their relationship. Shortly after their sixth wedding anniversary, however, the news broke that Kutcher had an affair while in San Diego for Danny Masterson’s bachelor party. She wrote that he “admitted it right away.”

While the 2011 split caused Moore to spiral, she concluded that she was grateful for her time with Kutcher: “Whatever pain we went through together enabled both of us to grow into the people we are today.”