Katie Maloney Details Divorce Decision, How She’ll Feel About Tom Schwartz Dating Again: ‘We Met at Acme’ Takeaways

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Katie Maloney Details Divorce Decision, How She’ll Feel About Tom Schwartz Dating Again: ‘We Met at Acme’ Takeaways

As many Vanderpump Rules fans are still reeling from news of Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s divorce, she is providing new details about what led to the end of their marriage. “We met in May or June of 2010 and we didn't get into a relationship right away. We kind of kept it [casual] for a few months,” the 35-year-old former SURver began on the Sunday, April 10, episode of the “We Met At Acme” podcast. “And then, yeah, I asked him to be my boyfriend. … Because I knew, I think, we both caught feelings. We both didn't want a relationship, but we caught feelings. So I felt like we had to, you know, establish some boundaries so the other one didn't get hurt. And then we eventually moved in together. And then I gave him an ultimatum — the famous ultimatum — because I felt like he was always very commitment-phobic in ways. And I was, you know, wanting to take natural progressions, [getting married] was always something I wanted. And he was being naughty. And so I was like, you know, it's time for you to make the real commitment. … And, of course, now I'm the one that's asked for a divorce. So it's funny how life works.” Bravo fans watched Maloney and Schwartz, 39, exchange vows on season 5 of the reality show after witnessing several ups and downs in their relationship. “It helps you realize so much about [your relationship] and about yourself,” the “You’re Going to Love Me” podcast host told Lindsey Metselaar on Sunday. “It's the mirror, you know?” Maloney and Schwartz announced their split on March 15, with Us Weekly later confirming that she listed their date of separation as February 12 in their divorce documents. As the pair navigate their breakup, they are still living together. [jwplayer bdE5xZrq-zhNYySv2] “We own a home together. We're going to sell our house, but we have some repairs that we're doing. … We have to get it ready to sell,” she explained on Sunday, noting that they are staying in separate rooms before they buy their own places. “We’re not sleeping in bed together. It's working, it's peaceful.” While some Vanderpump Rules fans were surprised by the split, others may point to signs of trouble in their romance over the years. Maloney, for her part, said she didn’t have any “doubts” when she walked down the aisle. “I really thought that we were gonna make it work. I felt that we had overcome a lot together, I felt that we had grown together,” she said. “And I thought that we would continue growing together, I was very optimistic. I thought, you know, patience is a virtue and that I had made mistakes, and he had made mistakes. I felt like I couldn't condemn him for a lot of things because I was guilty, but maybe that was my own insecurity and me just not seeing things clearly.” Scroll through for more from Maloney, including why she feels ready to date:

Credit: KCR/Shutterstock; AFF-USA/Shutterstock

Katie Maloney Details Divorce Decision, How She’ll Feel About Tom Schwartz Dating Again: ‘We Met at Acme’ Takeaways

As many Vanderpump Rules fans are still reeling from news of Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s divorce, she is providing new details about what led to the end of their marriage. “We met in May or June of 2010 and we didn't get into a relationship right away. We kind of kept it [casual] for a few months,” the 35-year-old former SURver began on the Sunday, April 10, episode of the “We Met At Acme” podcast. “And then, yeah, I asked him to be my boyfriend. … Because I knew, I think, we both caught feelings. We both didn't want a relationship, but we caught feelings. So I felt like we had to, you know, establish some boundaries so the other one didn't get hurt. And then we eventually moved in together. And then I gave him an ultimatum — the famous ultimatum — because I felt like he was always very commitment-phobic in ways. And I was, you know, wanting to take natural progressions, [getting married] was always something I wanted. And he was being naughty. And so I was like, you know, it's time for you to make the real commitment. … And, of course, now I'm the one that's asked for a divorce. So it's funny how life works.” Bravo fans watched Maloney and Schwartz, 39, exchange vows on season 5 of the reality show after witnessing several ups and downs in their relationship. “It helps you realize so much about [your relationship] and about yourself,” the “You’re Going to Love Me” podcast host told Lindsey Metselaar on Sunday. “It's the mirror, you know?” Maloney and Schwartz announced their split on March 15, with Us Weekly later confirming that she listed their date of separation as February 12 in their divorce documents. As the pair navigate their breakup, they are still living together. [jwplayer bdE5xZrq-zhNYySv2] “We own a home together. We're going to sell our house, but we have some repairs that we're doing. … We have to get it ready to sell,” she explained on Sunday, noting that they are staying in separate rooms before they buy their own places. “We’re not sleeping in bed together. It's working, it's peaceful.” While some Vanderpump Rules fans were surprised by the split, others may point to signs of trouble in their romance over the years. Maloney, for her part, said she didn’t have any “doubts” when she walked down the aisle. “I really thought that we were gonna make it work. I felt that we had overcome a lot together, I felt that we had grown together,” she said. “And I thought that we would continue growing together, I was very optimistic. I thought, you know, patience is a virtue and that I had made mistakes, and he had made mistakes. I felt like I couldn't condemn him for a lot of things because I was guilty, but maybe that was my own insecurity and me just not seeing things clearly.” Scroll through for more from Maloney, including why she feels ready to date:

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On Whether Tom Has Red Flags

When asked whether the TomTom co-owner had any “red flags” when they were dating, Maloney admitted that someone’s “adverse to wanting to commit to you” can be a big one.

“I understand that when someone is younger and [when] they're still figuring themselves out, they're still figuring life out. But I think when somebody is 30, I don't think it's too much — and especially when you've been together for a long time,” she said of their early relationship struggles, before calling out his “people pleasing” tendencies. “That also came through with him always kind of having other people's backs and not having my own back. He wasn't necessarily on my team in a lot of ways and it's fine. I didn't need to be right about everything, but I didn't need to be alone in everything. He kind of always tended to take his buddy's side or anyone else's side. That was a common thread throughout the elationship that was frustrating to me, but I kind of was just like, ‘Well, is this who he is? I don't really want to change necessarily the fiber of his being.’ But I also ultimately realized, I don't know if I necessarily want to do this the rest of my life.”

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On When Katie Felt Like It Was Over

Maloney said that she started doubting their relationship toward “the end of last summer/fall,” explaining, “It started to creep in — these thoughts, you know, but I think maybe, subconsciously, I've been feeling them longer, but I didn't know what they meant or wasn't feeling them correctly if that makes sense. They were there, but I was sort of just turning my cheek to it. I was not wanting to see it for what it was.”

When asked whether there was anything Schwartz could have done to save things, Maloney replied, “It wouldn't have been one thing. I had been expressing my feelings and where I felt that I was, again, not getting my needs met, and where I thought I was being hurt by some of the behavior and I don't think he understood or resonated or agreed with [it]. It would just require a shift and all of that. … I understand you can't really, like, change a person.”

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On Telling Tom

“It was one day, I kind of had just told him, like, this is how I've been feeling and not feeling very happy. And it was sort of, like, ‘Let's try to maybe work on it a little bit.’ But I kind of knew that that wasn't the full feeling of it all. And then, you know, he just didn't really do anything, like, he left town again to go do a thing with [Tom] Sandoval. And then he left to go see his dad, which is not his fault. … He didn't really even know what that looked like — working on things. I think in his mind [it] was just like, ‘OK, well, I think this will be a passing thing for her. She just needed to get something out.’ I think he thought that I was just going to get over it or something. And then it was a couple of weeks later, I had decided that I wanted to get a divorce.”

Maloney added that the pair had “changed” and “grown apart,” noting that their marriage “wasn't the healthiest thing” for either of them.

“I was dying inside. …  Because I had already just been thinking about [it] day and night and losing sleep over it,” she said. “And I couldn't keep doing that to myself. I needed just to get it off of my chest and be able to be honest and move forward.”

She added that Schwartz didn’t “fight” her on it, but he was “really sad.”

“It was very emotional, you know, for a while, for a couple of weeks,” she said. “It was the death of a relationship. It was incredibly sad, but you know, there wasn't fighting, I think he recognized that I was serious, and I meant it and that there wasn't anything in the moment that he could do — even though he didn't necessarily agree with it or want it — but he wasn't going to fight me on it.”

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On Being Ready to Date — and See Tom Date

“You would think after being with someone for 12 years and all this that you would be not ready for that, but I feel like I am,” Maloney said about dating again, adding that living with your ex presents “obstacles” for moving on. “It’s a different world out there. So I'm like, ‘What do you even do?’ I feel like I'm totally out of my element. … When I met Tom, dating apps weren't even around then. I used to just meet people the old-fashioned way.

Maloney noted that she’s looking for someone who “isn't worried about what every single person in the room thinks and how they're feeling” and someone who wants a family. She continued: “And someone who's gonna prioritize me and support my feelings and my emotions, someone who doesn't prioritize, you know, partying.”

When it comes to Schwartz dating again, Maloney isn’t too concerned about how she will handle it. “It would be, like, weird, but I don't think I’d go crazy. I don't think I would feel hurt. I don't think I would feel betrayed,” she said. “I think as long as she wasn't a psycho or, like, as long as she was a good person that was going to be nice … I mean, I can't say that I would be upset.”

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On Telling the ‘Pump Rules’ Crew

“We didn’t, like, call a group meeting,” she said of informing her costars. “I definitely started kind of telling people in a need-to-know basis as we were kind of going to be around people and at the same time, especially, because they were definitely going to know something was up.”

Maloney added that Stassi Schroeder was the first person in general who she told that she was having any feelings about calling it quits. “I didn't tell anyone anything at all about how I was feeling because I just wanted to kind of sit with it. And I tried to understand my feelings. And then slowly over time, I started opening up to, like, some of my girlfriends,” she explained.

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On How Katie and Tom Will Stay Friends

Maloney told the host that her and Schwartz’s future partners are going “to have to be realistic” when it comes to their friendship.

“[Tom is] not the type of guy to get, like, super, super jealous. I think that we really can remain friends. Like, our friendship is really the core of our relationship,” she said of their future. “That's kind of what's carried us through and this far and everything. We just really, genuinely have a great bond. I think it would really break both of our hearts for us to have spent 12 years together and have this rich history with one another and then to just not be friends. He's not gonna stop being friends with some of my best friends and vice versa. So, like, a lot of our lives would have to change for us to just not be friends anymore.”