The Traitors season 2 isn’t over yet, but Us Weekly can’t stop thinking about who should head to Alan Cumming’s Scottish castle for season 3.
Now that Peacock has dispensed with the idea of inviting regular, non-famous people to the party, the possibilities are truly endless. No disrespect to season 1’s normals, but watching season 2’s factions war over which genre of reality television makes them a better game player has been everything. Do the Survivor and Big Brother alumni have an advantage over the Bravo squad because they’re “gamers,” or are the Housewives the ones to watch because managing emotions is what they do all day?
Fans will be able to debate the skills provided by various reality shows for at least one more season, as The Traitors was renewed by Peacock in February just as The Bachelor’s Peter Weber was shocking viewers with his unexpectedly good strategy. According to executive producer Sam Rees-Jones, the show is in the “really early stages” of casting for season 3 … which means they have some time to take a few suggestions.
Keep reading for Us Weekly’s dream list of The Traitors season 3 cast members:
Martha Stewart
This one is actually Alan’s idea, but Us has no choice but to cosign. “You know who I was thinking would be really good? Martha Stewart,” Alan told Entertainment Tonight in February. “Wouldn’t she be fantastic? ‘Cause she’d be a fantastic traitor.” She would be! And she’d whip up such excellent cocktails that the faithful would never know what hit them.
Jonny Fairplay
As the Survivor ur-villain, Jonny is an obvious pick for the show — but he can’t be a traitor. Everyone would suspect him right off the bat, so he’d be better off as a chaotic faithful. And while we’re talking vintage Survivor baddies, Richard Hatch would be a great option too. He just needs to remember to pay his taxes if he wins.
Princess Kate Middleton
Maybe she’s been absent from the public eye because she’s secretly filming The Traitors? If she’s not, she should — as a member of the most tight-lipped family on Earth, she must be great at reading subtle tells.
Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino
If we know anything about The Situation, it’s that he loves food and mess, both of which are in high supply on The Traitors. Get that man on a plane to Scotland post-haste!
Monica Garcia
Monica won’t be back on Bravo after completely torching her relationships with her fellow Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, but she’s an incredible subject for reality TV. She’s an excellent liar, which makes her a great candidate for The Traitors. It would also be fascinating to watch her try to align herself with other Bravo stars — all of whom have the receipts, proof, timeline and screenshots. Imagine her attempting to form an alliance with, say, Erika Jayne or Lala Kent! Let the sparks fly, Peacock.
George Santos
Yes, the former New York congressman was charged with 23 felonies, including conspiracy to commit offenses against the United States, and yes, he faces up to 22 years in federal prison if convicted. But who would begrudge him a trip to Scotland to film The Traitors while he’s awaiting trial? You know he would absolutely slay at the bird call challenge.
Dennis Rodman
Athletes can have a tough time on The Traitors — see gentle soul Deontay Wilder’s early season 2 exit — but the former Chicago Bulls star shouldn’t have any difficulty getting right to it. He’s friends with Kim Jong Un, so fending off a castle full of traitors won’t be a problem.
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag
Larsa Pippen and Marcus Jordan were the first couple on The Traitors but they didn’t make it far, in part because they didn’t really seem willing to throw each other under the bus. Spencer and Heidi, however, are reality veterans who wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice one another for the sake of good TV. Also, the castle could really use some crystals.
Christine Quinn
Selling Sunset has been a shell of its former self since Christine, who was simply born for reality television, left the show. She would excel as either a traitor or a faithful because she’s a genius at navigating rooms full of suspicious people. And just think of the outfits!
T-Pain
Would T-Pain be a good traitor? Probably not. Would he be the Mr. Congeniality of the castle, serenading the faithful as they discuss strategy and offering moral support at the breakfast table? Yes, and Us thinks that’s beautiful.
Bob the Drag Queen
Peppermint became the first RuPaul’s Drag Race alum on The Traitors in season 2, but her tenure was cut short by Trishelle Cannatella’s wildly off-base theory. While Peppermint was probably too nice to get much further, there are plenty of other Drag Race girls who would crush it in the castle. Bob is so shady and hilarious that it would be impossible to tell which side she’s on at any given time, making her the perfect agent of chaos. Miss Vanjie would excel in a similar role — and provide plenty of meme fodder.
Naomi Campbell
The supermodel is probably too famous for The Traitors, but Us can dream. She’d make a great traitor because her costars would be too intimidated to accuse her, but she’d also make a great faithful because everyone would expect her to be a traitor. And, again, think of the outfits!
Jay Cutler
While he’s known as the former Chicago Bears quarterback to some, Jay is the former star of Very Cavallari to Us. Kristin Cavallari’s then-husband stole the show on her E! reality series as he watched his deer cam and insulted her Uncommon James employees. The retired athlete’s ability to go emotionless on the football field (and in the Nashville boutique) would make him impossible for his Traitors castmates to read.
Stassi Schroeder
She is the devil — and don’t you forget it! Stassi can easily suss out a liar and convince everyone else to jump on the bandwagon while also delivering endless one-liners in her confessionals. (See seasons 1 through 8 of Vanderpump Rules.) And she can bring back the statement necklaces à la Parvati Shallow’s headbands in season 2.
Cameran Eubanks
The Southern Charm alum was able to keep Shep Rose, Craig Conover, Austen Kroll and the rest of the Charleston Peter Pans in line during her tenure on Bravo, so it would be interesting to watch her with another cast of characters.
Scott Disick
With The Kardashians underutilizing Scott, let’s get the Lord to Scotland and see how long he would attempt to rub shoulders with reality stars he’s likely deemed below him.
Andi Dorfman
A decade after Andi infamously told Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis that it was “not OK” that he didn’t know anything about her or her fellow contestants, it’s time for Andi to put more former reality stars in their place. She’s also an attorney, and if we learned anything from Phaedra Parks, it’s that lawyers who give up their careers for reality TV make excellent traitors.
Jessica Batten
While every season of Love Is Blind has delivered some form of entertainment, Us is still chasing the high of watching strangers try to find love sight unseen for the first time — and Jessica’s messy performance is a main reason why. Plus, if Jessica can feed her dog wine like it’s no big deal, she could easily slip a poisoned chalice into the hands of her enemies.
Taylor Hale
Fans remember Taylor for her evolution from week 1 target to eventual winner of Big Brother 24. What many forget is exactly how good she was at the game. Her ability to navigate the block, win a couple competitions and deliver one of the greatest speeches in the history of the show would all benefit her on The Traitors. She can sell you a Christmas tree in January and do it with a smile on her face, making you think you’re getting the deal of the century.
Derrick Levasseur
Big Brother fans have been itching to see the BB16 winner play against tougher competition, and after he was apparently pulled at the last minute in casting for BB22, maybe this is his chance. The former undercover cop was so dominant in his season that many found it boring as he sailed to the end and eventually beat Cody Calafiore, who went on to become a season 1 traitor.
Tony Vlachos
We’re already watching one two-time Survivor winner excel on The Traitors in Sandra Diaz-Twine, so maybe it’s time to give the other one a shot. In addition to being one of the most entertaining social players in Survivor history, he’s one of the few reality stars who could be more entertaining as a faithful than a traitor. The only question is where in the castle he would build his spy nest.
Boston Rob
Rob Mariano was a rumored cast member for season 2 of The Traitors, and we haven’t been able to get the thought out of our heads since. He’s from the real old-school era of CBS reality TV, so we can see whether — as Dr. Will put it — he “still has it.” Also, it’d just be fun to hear his harsh Boston accent alongside Alan’s charming Scottish lilt.
