The Hills alum, 35, opened up about the devastating loss while describing the plans she and the TV producer had for their upcoming vlog series. The pair, who wed in November 2015, were going to bring fans along on two separate journeys: their home renovation and their pregnancy.
“Sadly, I lost the pregnancy,” Port wrote on Monday, January 4, alongside an image of palm trees blowing in the wind. “Timmy and I weren’t sure if we still wanted to put this out there. I wasn’t sure I wanted to relive the pain. However, this time around, I felt differently about the situation.”
“My identity has been shaken in regards to who as a mom and human being,” she captioned her Instagram reveal at the time. “I’m currently in the process of learning to accept that my feelings are valid no matter what they are. Whether or not people feel the same way as me or not. They are my personal emotions that are the result from my own journey.”
As she reflected on the two experiences, the Hills: New Beginnings star noted that there were some big differences in the losses, though each was painful in its own way.
“Last time, I don’t think I was ready to have another child, and I had different feelings about the miscarriage. This time, I really connected,” she explained on Monday. “I was actually excited and enjoying the pregnancy. I envisioned it all. I’m sad but I’m OK and we will try again. … I also have so much sadness in my heart for anyone that has to go through this or has gone through this. I know though that our community will share, band together and support [because] you always do.”
In the first of five YouTube videos about her journey, Port admitted that “a lot of consideration” went into the decision to share her story and that she felt “anxiety” about her previous struggle to conceive.
“I’m enjoying being pregnant so I can relax and not feel guilty about it,” she said to her husband. “But I’m also ready to have the baby so I can be in charge of my body and what I put in it, and not ever have to have any anxiety about getting pregnant ever again.”
One month before revealing her recent miscarriage, the “With Whit” podcast host told Us Weekly exclusively that she was “really” hoping to give her son a sibling — but that “getting pregnant in the time of COVID” would be “a very scary thing.”
“I just want someone for Sonny to interact with. There’s something I can’t really explain,” she said at the time. It just feels like there’s someone missing, and I finally have kind of connected to that. And so, it’s definitely something that we’re thinking about and I’m more open to now.”