Adele Says She Was ‘Just Going Through the Motions’ in Simon Konecki Marriage: ‘I Wasn’t Happy’

Credit: American Vogue: Alasdair Mclellan

Adele Says She Was 'Just Going Through the Motions' in Simon Konecki Marriage: 'I Wasn't Happy'

Entering a new era. Processing her divorce from Simon Konecki wasn't easy for Adele — but she's finally ready to find her "true happiness." The 33-year-old singer opened up like never before in Vogue's November 2021 cover story, which hit the internet on Thursday, October 7. She also landed the cover of British Vogue, giving each outlet a taste of how she's spent the past five years. In September 2019, Adele filed for divorce from Konecki, 46, and the pair reached a settlement earlier this year. Looking back on her marriage, the "When We Were Young" songstress admitted it wasn't all perfect. "I was just going through the motions and I wasn't happy," she told Vogue. "Neither of us did anything wrong. Neither of us hurt each other or anything like that. It was just: I want my son to see me really love, and be loved. It's really important to me." When she was approaching her 30s, the U.K. native felt like she wanted more out of her life. "It shakes you up a bit," she admitted. "Who am I? What do I want to do? What makes me truly happy? All those things." [jwplayer RBbUNdzF-zhNYySv2] Anxiety took over, which presented the "Set Fire to the Rain" singer with a major challenge. During "a lovely night with my friends," she started to ask the big questions. "I remember sitting out there with two of my friends ... and I was like, 'When will I stop feeling like this?'" she recalled. "And they were like, 'In time.' And I was like, 'Yeah, but how much time?' And one of them cried and was just like, 'I don't know. It's gonna be a ride.' And it was." The divorce was hard for both Adele and the charity founder, but their 9-year-old son, Angelo, struggled too. "He has so many simple questions for me that I can't answer, because I don't know the answer," she said of her child, who she penned a song for in hopes of giving him some closure. Adele hasn't released new music since 2015. Earlier this month, she announced that the first single off her forthcoming record will be out on October 15. However, she doesn't think fans should expect a divorce album. "I realized that I was the problem," Adele joked. "'Cause all the other albums are like, 'You did this! You did that! F--k you! Why can't you arrive for me?' Then I was like: 'Oh, s--t, I'm the running theme, actually. Maybe it's me!' ... [Simon's] not one of my exes. He's the dad of my child. It was more me divorcing myself." Focusing on her work — and on herself — has helped Adele conquer the anxiety that she's felt over the past few years. She's also felt supported by her new love interest, sports agent Rich Paul, who she said she knew for years before sparking their romance earlier this year. The twosome were spotted together multiple times before going Instagram official in September. "I don't feel anxious or nervous or frazzled. It's quite the opposite. It's wild," she noted of her relationship. "I'm a 33-year-old divorced mother of a son, who's actually in charge. The last thing I need is someone who doesn't know where they're at, or what they want. I know what I want. And I really know what I don't want." Scroll down to see more from Adele's candid conversations with Vogue and British Vogue: [podcast_block]

Credit: David Fisher/Shutterstock

Finding 'True Happiness'

Adele filed for divorce in 2019 and told Vogue, "I've been on my journey to find my true happiness ever since."

Speaking to British Vogue, she added, "It just wasn't right for me anymore. I didn't want to end up like a lot of other people I knew. It wasn't miserable miserable, but I would have been miserable had I not put myself first. But, yeah, nothing bad happened or anything like that."

Credit: British Vogue: Steven Meisel

Therapy Works

After reaching her "Saturn return," which often occurs in a person's late 20s or early 30s, she felt like she "lost the plot." Consulting her therapist, Adele thought about what she would tell her 7-year-old self.

"She was left on her own. And I needed to go sit with her and really address how I felt when I was growing up. And issues with my dad. Which I'd been avoiding," she divulged. "Not being sure if someone who is supposed to love you loves you, and doesn't prioritize you in any capacity when you're little. You assume it and get used to it. So my relationship with men in general, my entire life, has always been: You're going to hurt me, so I'll hurt you first. It's just toxic and prevents me from actually finding any happiness."

Credit: American Vogue: Alasdair Mclellan

Shedding the Weight

The Oscar winner's wellness journey has become a hot topic, but for her, "it was never about losing weight." Working out provided a space for her to channel her stress into something positive.

"It became my time. I realized that when I was working out, I didn't have any anxiety. ... I thought, If I can make my body physically strong, and I can feel that and see that, then maybe one day I can make my emotions and my mind physically strong," she told Vogue.

She credited her trainer Gregg Miele with helping her feel safe and welcome in the gym. "All these other people have come out saying that they trained me. F--kin' weirdos," she joked. "I've never met them in my life!"

Credit: Richard Isaac/Shutterstock

Vocal Rest

Adele underwent vocal surgery in 2011 and was forced to cancel a few performances six years later out of extra precaution. "I think once my voice rests it doesn't want to come back for a while. I think that's what happened. The momentum went," she explained. "I'm not allowed to perform if I'm not well anymore, because obviously I had surgery years ago. So there was no even pushing through it. I was devastated."

Credit: American Vogue: Alasdair Mclellan

For Angelo

"If I can reach the reason why I left, which was the pursuit of my own happiness, even though it made Angelo really unhappy — if I can find that happiness and he sees me in that happiness, then maybe I'll be able to forgive myself for it," the "Hello" songstress said of her son.

The former couple share custody and live close to one another, but the transition to coparenting was challenging for Angelo. "He knew I wasn't there," Adele recalled, noting that she wrote her little boy a song to hopefully answer some of his questions.

"Like, 'Why can't we still live together?' That's just not what people do when they get divorced. 'But why not?' I'm like, I don’t f--king know. That's not what society does. And: 'Why don't you love my dad anymore?' And I'd be like, 'I do love your dad. I'm just not in love.' I can't make that make sense to a 9-year-old," she explained.

Credit: Jim Smeal/Shutterstock

The Album

Fans have been waiting years to hear new music from the Grammy winner — but she deliberately took her time. "It's sensitive for me, this record, just in how much I love it," she explained. "I always say that 21 doesn't belong to me anymore. Everyone else took it into their hearts so much. I'm not letting go of this one. This is my album. I want to share myself with everyone, but I don't think I'll ever let this one go."

While the trademark emotional component will surely be present on the new album, some details might throw listeners for a loop, including voice recordings from Tyler, the Creator and British rapper Skepta (who Adele was briefly linked to in 2020). "I thought it might be a nice touch, seeing as everyone's been at my door for the last 10 years, as a fan, to be like, 'Would you like to come in?'" she said.

Credit: Will Heath/NBC; MEGA

Rich Paul

Her relationship with Paul took her by surprise. "He was always there, I just didn't see him," she said of her beau, who she'd known for years before things turned romantic.

Reflecting on their introduction, the songwriter recalled, "I was a bit drunk. I said: 'Do you want to sign me? I'm an athlete now.' He's just so f--king funny. He was dancing. All the other guys were just sitting around. He was just dancing away."

She added in her British Vogue cover story, "I did date before Rich, but they hated it. They'd find it stressful being out or seen with me. ... Whereas he's not frazzled by it at all. It feels like it's consistent and considerate enough that I don't care who knows. He's great."