Garcelle Beauvais’ ‘Love Me As I Am’ Memoir: 11 Revelations About ‘RHOBH,’ Her 2 Divorces, Parenting Woes and More

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Garcelle Beauvais’ ‘Love Me As I Am’ Memoir: 11 Revelations About ‘RHOBH,’ Her 2 Divorces, Parenting Woes and More

Spilling it all! Garcelle Beauvais has never been one to hold back when it comes to sharing her opinion — and her new book, Love Me As I Am, is no exception. “Feeling like I’ve got my whole world in my hands 🧡,” the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 55, teased via Instagram in March after receiving a hard copy of the memoir. Her reality TV costar and friend Kathy Hilton gushed over Beauvais’ achievement, commenting, “So proud of you.💕🌟❤️🥰.” Not everyone from the Bravo series, however, appeared to be excited to read Beauvais’ memoir, which highlights her journey from Haiti to New York City to become a model before pursuing a career in Hollywood. Erika Jayne revealed via social media on Sunday, April 10, that she promptly threw her copy of the book in the trash after sparking feud speculation with Beauvais earlier this year. “Garcelle, even though you unfollowed me I’m sure you’ll see this,” Jayne, 50, captioned a video of her costar’s new book in the garbage via her Instagram Story. [jwplayer i1stGXPJ-zhNYySv2] The Coming 2 America actress exclusively told Us Weekly in February why she unfollowed her costar on Instagram, explaining that Jayne had recently rubbed her the wrong way. “It was something that I didn’t like, and it also didn’t really align with who I am,” Beauvais told Us at the time. “For me, I wanna follow people that [when] you’re seeing their feed, you wanna follow them. You wanna like them. You want to cheer them on, and I just didn’t wanna do that. I didn’t wanna see it.” The Caught in His Web star teased to Us that the RHOBH girls’ trip to Aspen, Colorado, earlier this year may have played a part in her rift with Jayne. The getaway was “off the chain,” Beauvais revealed, adding, “That’s all I’m saying. I don’t know how we pack so much in three days.” While the tension between Beauvais and Jayne appears to be at an all-time high, that wasn’t always the case, according to the Jamie Foxx Show alum’s memoir. In fact, Beauvais detailed her first impression of Jayne and a few other costars in the book. She also got real about her two divorces, three sons and why it was a “calculated risk” to become RHOBH’s first Black cast member during season 10 of the series. Love Me As I Am is out now. Scroll through for the biggest takeaways: [podcast_block]

Credit: MediaPunch/Shutterstock

Garcelle Beauvais’ ‘Love Me As I Am’ Memoir: 11 Revelations About ‘RHOBH,’ Her 2 Divorces, Parenting Woes and More

Spilling it all! Garcelle Beauvais has never been one to hold back when it comes to sharing her opinion — and her new book, Love Me As I Am, is no exception. “Feeling like I’ve got my whole world in my hands 🧡,” the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 55, teased via Instagram in March after receiving a hard copy of the memoir. Her reality TV costar and friend Kathy Hilton gushed over Beauvais’ achievement, commenting, “So proud of you.💕🌟❤️🥰.” Not everyone from the Bravo series, however, appeared to be excited to read Beauvais’ memoir, which highlights her journey from Haiti to New York City to become a model before pursuing a career in Hollywood. Erika Jayne revealed via social media on Sunday, April 10, that she promptly threw her copy of the book in the trash after sparking feud speculation with Beauvais earlier this year. “Garcelle, even though you unfollowed me I’m sure you’ll see this,” Jayne, 50, captioned a video of her costar’s new book in the garbage via her Instagram Story. [jwplayer i1stGXPJ-zhNYySv2] The Coming 2 America actress exclusively told Us Weekly in February why she unfollowed her costar on Instagram, explaining that Jayne had recently rubbed her the wrong way. “It was something that I didn’t like, and it also didn’t really align with who I am,” Beauvais told Us at the time. “For me, I wanna follow people that [when] you’re seeing their feed, you wanna follow them. You wanna like them. You want to cheer them on, and I just didn’t wanna do that. I didn’t wanna see it.” The Caught in His Web star teased to Us that the RHOBH girls’ trip to Aspen, Colorado, earlier this year may have played a part in her rift with Jayne. The getaway was “off the chain,” Beauvais revealed, adding, “That’s all I’m saying. I don’t know how we pack so much in three days.” While the tension between Beauvais and Jayne appears to be at an all-time high, that wasn’t always the case, according to the Jamie Foxx Show alum’s memoir. In fact, Beauvais detailed her first impression of Jayne and a few other costars in the book. She also got real about her two divorces, three sons and why it was a “calculated risk” to become RHOBH’s first Black cast member during season 10 of the series. Love Me As I Am is out now. Scroll through for the biggest takeaways: [podcast_block]

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The Power of 3

The NYPD Blue alum revealed that the number three has played an important role in her life — including the age her children all were when she split from their respective fathers. “That number three keeps lurking in the background of my life and popping up in unexpected ways,” she wrote. “I had three boys, my father left my mom when I was 3, I left [my first husband] Danny [Saunders] when Oliver was 3, and now [the split from Mike Nilon when the twins were 3].” Beauvais said she doesn’t “believe in coincidences,” adding that the number continues to “haunt” her.

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‘RHOBH’ Was a ‘Calculated Risk’

Beauvais joined the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2019, becoming the first Black woman on the series. She explained being a Housewife was “just another box to check” on her career to-do list.

"It was a calculated risk for me,” the Real cohost wrote. “I was confident that I would be able to have a little more control over my narrative. I couldn’t imagine that the franchise would take the risk of trying to play out the mythical stereotype of the angry Black woman. If they wanted that, they wouldn’t have come looking for me.”

Credit: John Tsiavis/Bravo

How She Really Felt After Her First Season

The reality star confessed that she “felt attacked” during the season 10 reunion special, which she called “torturous” compared to a “difficult” season of filming. “I was caught off guard by how venomous these ladies, especially in this setting, could be,” she wrote.

Beauvais recalled seeing her costars “claw and scratch” at pal Denise Richards all season, but still wasn’t prepared to become a “target” of their remarks during the reunion taping. After watching how Richards was treated and how her own sense of honesty and trust in the Bold and the Beautiful alum came back to bite her, Beauvais explained she learned something new about her friends.

“I discovered that some of these women used the concept of ‘honesty’ as a weapon. They hide behind the word and pretend to seek it to create drama,” she claimed in her memoir, insisting she was not “bashing” her costars. “I won’t sugarcoat what is painfully obvious to the viewing audience either. There’s that damn honesty again!"

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She ‘Respected’ Erika Jayne When They First Met

Beauvais sparked feud speculation with the “Pretty Mess” performer earlier this year when she unfollowed Erika on social media alongside Sutton Stracke. In her book, however, she revealed that her first impression of Erika was much more pleasant.

“I took instantly to her no-nonsense, direct, cut-to-the-chase attitude. It was very New York,” she wrote of her costar. “A little tough and dude-leaning, just like me. She’s seen somethings. I respected her story and struggle to get to where she was. Not an easy beginning, but she made it, baby!”

Beauvais noted that she also found “camaraderie” with Dorit Kemsley, bonding over their love of fashion. “Coming from the fashion world myself, I could tell this girl had an eye for style,” she added.

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On the End of Her First Marriage

The model was married to Saunders from 1991 to 2000. The former couple called it quits when their son, Oliver, was 3 years old. Beauvais called the divorce “neither amicable nor easy,” pointing out that her ex wasn’t as “emotionally, financially, or physically supportive as I would have hoped.”

The TV personality explained that she detailed their divorce lows in the book “not to stir up any old ghosts of the past,” but to better describe how she became the woman she is today. Throughout their marriage, Beauvais recalled becoming more “financially driven” to “overcompensate” for Saunders’ “dreamer” tendencies.

“After the divorce, Danny would often say that I emasculated him,” she claimed, adding that their coparenting relationship “didn’t go so well” either.

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How She Feels About Divorcing Michael Nilon

Beauvais filed for divorce from Nilon, with whom she shares twins Jaid and Jax, in May 2010 after nearly 10 years together. The split hit the actress “harder” than her first divorce because of how public it was. "I poured everything into that relationship to make it work,” she wrote.

Looking back, the Wild, Wild West star said she “liked the idea” of her and Nilon “on paper,” especially after he “embraced” her son Oliver. The marriage began to splinter after she “became too lenient permissive and selectively blind” when it came to parenting Oliver. Beauvais, ultimately realized that she would “defer” to Nilon about what he “thought was best” for her son, instead of asking herself the same question.

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How She Learned of His Text Message Scandal

Ahead of her split from Nilon, Beauvais “accidentally” learned that he was having an affair by pulling up his text exchange with another woman. The Haitian model knew something was wrong when she saw “I love you” in an unread message on Nilon’s phone and the number wasn’t her own.

“I immediately felt an uneasy feeling grip my body, and my adrenaline began to race,” she wrote, explaining she quickly asked her then-husband what she was looking at. Beauvais recalled Nilon’s body getting stiff before he admitted to cheating. “I pushed him to tell me for exactly how long. ‘For five years with someone in Chicago,’ he finally confessed.”

Credit: Courtesy of Samoli Saunders/Instagram

She Took Her ‘Eye Off the Ball’ With Eldest Son Oliver

The Franklin & Bash alum told readers that she struggled to write about how for years she tried to “grapple with how to best heal her broken son” after Oliver struggled with addiction.

“After years of therapy, tears and heartache, I can painfully admit to myself that I took my eyes off the ball with Oliver. I assumed that because he had the best of everything, everything would work out for the best,” she confessed. “Unfortunately, that was not to be the case. Angst, fear, helplessness, and worry were consuming emotional daggers that governed my relationship with Oliver’s teenage and early adult years.”

Beauvais remembered crying herself to sleep and worrying when she woke up as she tried to anticipate what trouble Oliver would get into next. “I had agonizing physical reactions to all the turmoil as well,” she added, explaining her eczema spiked during the stressful time and leave her with “debilitating” pain.

Credit: Shutterstock; Inset: Courtesy of Samoli Saunders/Instagram

Keeping Some Things About Oliver’s Addiction Private

The mother of three revealed that when she moved back to Los Angeles, Oliver’s troubles “escalated quickly,” leaning their family to hit their “breaking point” and hold an intervention. Beauvais noted that while she lived through her son’s “turmoil,” she chose not to divulge all the details of his battle with addiction in the book.

“Where I sit today, I learned how to stop torturing myself for not being able to recognize and save my baby from his pain,” she explained. “Today my Oliver is making positive strides toward progress. He is a new husband and a new father.”

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She Turned Down a Tropical Getaway With Michael Jordan

During her early days as a model in New York City, Beauvais recalled having “so much fun” working with the NBA icon, noting that Jordan’s name didn’t “ring a bell” for her before their photo shoot.

“I was impressed by how tall and handsome he was. He took me on a golf date after the shoot and showed me how to hold a club properly and swing,” she wrote, revealing that the athlete later invited her to go to Hawaii with him, but she declined. “Like a naive little girl, I was ‘clutching my pearls’ and shocked by the idea of going to Hawaii with a man I had just met.”

Looking back, she confessed, “I blew that one!”

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She Almost Died During Her Infertility Journey

Beauvais welcomed her twins in 2007 when she was in her 40s. In the book, she recalled the “heartbreaking setbacks” she faced, including miscarriages and unsuccessful rounds of in vitro fertilization treatments before the boys were born.

Ahead of the healthy pregnancy, the Bravo personality was in “pain” which landed her in the hospital. After being discharged she received a call from the hospital telling her she needed emergency surgery.

“Turns out, I had developed a life-threatening bowel obstruction from the fibroids surgery and my waste was backing up in my system and poisoning my body,” she wrote. “If I hadn’t gone to the hospital when I did, I wouldn’t be alive today to tell my story. After that ordeal, I was shell shocked and terrified.”