Desiree Hartsock Blogs ‘The Bachelor’: Cut Peter Weber a Little Slack

Former Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock will be blogging exclusively with Us Weekly each week about her opinion on Peter Weber‘s journey to find love on The Bachelor. Check back every Tuesday for her recap!

Pack your bags ladies… “We’re going to Cleveland!”

Crickets. Confused faces. Slow clap.

I’m pretty sure these ladies thought the first trip would be to Paris or something fancy but I love when the show visits cities in the U.S. and have somewhat normal dates — especially when the dates don’t even matter with the amount of DRAMA going on.

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Desiree Hartsock and Peter Weber Charles Sykes/Invision/AP/Shutterstock; ABC/Stewart Cook

The entire two hours of this week was like a ping-pong match, trying to keep up with all of the story lines happening. At the end, I was still left in the dark on the truth and just wanted the game to end.

Victoria F. walked right into the “most awkward scenario to ever have to act normal in” when she had to dance and make out with Peter right in front of her ex-boyfriend — not to mention the ex-boyfriend who was singing to them! I would be mortified, just like she was, but I thought she handled the situation and herself so well. She stayed in the moment (as well as one can given the circumstances) with Peter and didn’t let the intentional but genius plan take away from that moment. As much as I hate the fact that they both had to go through such an awkward thing that was obviously put together for shock value, I have to say it’s a reality TV show’s dream scenario to be able to stir the pot and add some entertainment. I mean, it’s something we’re talking about, right? (At least until Alayah shows up.)

Chase Rice The Bachelor
Chase Rice on The Bachelor Giphy/ABC

It’s also good for these pairs to have some serious conversations early on and not just know the flavor of each others’ saliva. This date actually pushed their relationship further along because of what they had to discuss and get past. I’m still keeping my eye on her as we get closer to that final rose. He seemed to be smitten and googly-eyed so we will see.

Not going to lie: The football group date would have been my jam. Growing up, I played football with my brother and friends practically every day and to keep up with them, l had to learn how to throw a mean spiral and knock down an opponent or two as quickly as possible. Instead, while I was on The Bachelor, I was forced to do a relay and drink a glass of goat milk to prove I was there for the right reasons. This show has come a long way — somewhat.

One thing will never change: Contestants will always get pissed when their time is cut short by someone else — especially when it is by someone trying to show everyone else up. There is a fine line of being confident and going after what you want and being a disrespectful person, stepping on others to get ahead. It’s been a while since I was in the house fighting for my time but I will say when you are in that environment, you have a completely different perspective than what a viewer has. So while we may see the ladies as being irrational and silly for getting so upset, you have to realize that there are no other topics they are discussing, there are no other guys they are looking at, they don’t even have their own trusted friends to rely on for sound advice.

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Victoria P. and Peter Weber Courtesy of ABC/Jason A LaVeris

Let me ask: How would you react if you didn’t have a phone to call a friend, a book to read to clear your mind, music to relax your thoughts or even a quiet moment alone to collect your sense? It’s hard to say unless you are actually in it. For me, doubt crept in, insecurities of why I’m even there boiled up inside and my thoughts became convoluted, making my truth and the truth of what was actually happening a blur. It was hard to know if the Bachelor’s choices that all of us saw as “bad” for keeping a certain lady around, were intentional or out of ignorance.

It’s almost always the latter but when you’re in the house, you can’t imagine him not being able to see what all the ladies see in someone. News flash: It’s because he’s busy on dates and not sitting in a back room watching what is going on in the house. He has such little time with the person in question, how could he possibly have a clue she’s terrible unless he has impeccable intuition … like a woman. Just kidding — this process is even hard for the women in charge.

One of my favorite expressions thus far is Peter’s face when Alayah walks in. It looked like when Chris (my husband) brings home burgers when all I really wanted was Chik-Fil-A — confused, taken back. I do a double-take and look him up and down like I’m ready to send him back out the door to get what I really wanted.

Peter Weber the Bachelor
Peter Weber on The Bachelor Giphy/ABC

I truly believe that both Alayah and Victoria P. think they are telling the truth — their own truth that is — and Peter will need to scan his heart for who he trusts the most. Honestly, at this point, I wouldn’t trust either but I totally get that he needs to make his decisions on his own time, not influenced by the ladies. I don’t think Alayah is The One, but he needs to figure that out on his own and not be guided by other’s opinions. He might just need a stronger scanner than he’s used to with these possibly untruthful pageant queens. Maybe a scanner bedazzled with gems and sashes. Then, their truth will come out to see if they’re just competing — like they’re used to — or if they actually care about a relationship.

Peter giving Alayah the Rose was a slap in the face to many of the ladies and I totally get that. The choices the lead makes sets the tone for the entire house and also sets the trajectory of events to follow. Without Peter even realizing it, he is fueling a fire that is already burning and it is only a matter of time before he will need to put it out completely if he truly wants to find a wife. I don’t personally think he’s making the wrong decisions for himself as he tries to follow his heart. Sometimes when we follow our heart, it can get a bit messy.

Let’s move on to a more positive note, and date. I’m so glad Peter told Kelsey what was going on in the house. It meant he was aware of how it could make the ladies feel and I’m so impressed with Kelsey’s response and outlook on how he needs to do what he needs to do in order to be certain at the end he makes the right decision. Plus, it’s her in the end, she will know he did all he needed to do in order to reach that decision —oo bad she may be the only lady right now who feels that way. Another thing I really love about Kelsey is that she is a beautiful pageant girl but has kept her roots of a down-to-earth Midwest girl intact. She is a breath of fresh air among the drama by just being herself and taking the process and the journey as you should: day by day and trusting he will make the right choice for himself. They had a precious moment when she shared her story and I’m hopeful for these two. I can’t wait to see how they grow!

Kelsey The Bachelor
Kelsey on The Bachelor Giphy

I need to give a shout out to Savannah, who is on the show but you may not know of because she is rarely seen. She is totally the mediator and has the most accurate dictation of what is going on with the drama. She doesn’t necessarily defend Alayah, but she can recognize that both Alayah and Victoria P. aren’t being honest with either Peter or themselves, so there is no reason to immediately jump on the “send Alayah home” or “Let’s be really mad at our boyfriend right now” bandwagon and just let Peter figure it out for himself.

Are the ill feelings warranted towards Peter? Yes and no. When you’re in the house, you are wrapped up in whatever drama is going on and it’s hard to compartmentalize each relationship. Imagine, the relationship with Peter, the relationship with the ladies in the house (some friends, some not), and the other relationships forming. Peter can’t see what’s going on all the time so give the man a little bit of a break and maybe trust the guy you hope to marry. If you don’t trust him, then he’s not the right one for you.

My top picks this week: Victoria F., Kelsey, Kelly and Madi

The Bachelor airs on ABC Mondays at 8 p.m. ET.

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