Tom Sandoval Blames Lack of Sexual ‘Intimacy’ for Ariana Madix Split: Bombshells From His Howie Mandel Interview

Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo (2)

Tom Sandoval Blames Lack of Sexual 'Intimacy' for Ariana Madix Split: Bombshells From His Howie Mandel Interview

His side of the story. Tom Sandoval opened up about his affair with Raquel Leviss and subsequent split from Ariana Madix during a surprise interview with Howie Mandel. "This whole situation, obviously I've never experienced anything like it in my life," the Schwartz & Sandy's cofounder, 40, said during the Tuesday, April 11, episode of the "Howie Mandel Does Stuff" podcast. "It's just crazy how big this story has gotten." During the bombshell interview — which was seemingly taped on Thursday, April 6 — Sandoval claimed that he and Madix, 37, had been headed for a breakup for months before his affair with Leviss, 28, came to light. "Like many relationships, it felt like it became more of like a best friends, family [thing] — sometimes roommates," the Missouri native told Mandel, 67. "There were a lot of ways where the relationship was just lacking the intimacy, the connection. We would travel more by ourselves than we would together. I would go to weddings by myself." Sandoval went on to claim that the duo's sex life was not in good shape, adding that the pair started couples therapy in late 2022. The reality star said that he and Madix started their sessions after his first kiss with Leviss, which he claimed happened in early August 2022. "I love Ariana. I still love Ariana and I care about her very much so, but we for a while had been sort of having our own lives," the Bravo personality said. "We were together for nine years. We built a business and we had a house together, we were a brand." The Winter House alum claimed that he began to really think about where he stood with his then-girlfriend after his 40th birthday in July 2022. "As I turned 40, I started to look at my life and it looked very bleak," he told the comedian. "I started to lose my optimism in life and my drive. I started to feel trapped. I started thinking like, 'I don't need this house, I don't need this s–t, but I feel like I need to make a change to feel motivated, to feel optimistic again.'" [sendtonews type="float" key="z7AE2H8aX7-2828856-14453"] At that point, his connection with Leviss — who split from fiancé James Kennedy in December 2021 — began to deepen. "I was in such a place just yearning for a connection," Sandoval said. "Raquel and I had become really, really good friends, confiding in each other, a source of strength." Us Weekly confirmed on March 3 that Sandoval and Madix split after the TomTom co-owner was caught having an affair with their Vanderpump Rules costar Leviss. The Fancy AF Cocktails coauthors had been dating since 2014. After the affair was made public, Sandoval issued a public apology to his business partners and asked fans to stop bombarding his Los Angeles bar Schwartz & Sandy's with negative online reviews. His Pump Rules costars, however, quickly called him out for failing to mention Madix in the statement. “Where’s Ariana’s apology in this?" Lala Kent wrote via Instagram in March. "It’s called narcissism … & and it’s terrifying.” Kennedy, 31, also slammed the bartender via social media. "Where’s Ariana Madix mentioned?" the DJ wrote in an Instagram Story post. "Make sure y’all unfollow this clown RIGHT NOW GO." Days later, Sandoval issued a second apology that focused on his ex-girlfriend. “I want to first and foremost apologize to everyone I’ve hurt through this process. Most of all, I want to apologize to Ariana,” he wrote in an Instagram statement on March 7. “I made mistakes, I was selfish and made reckless decisions that hurt somebody I love. No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly.” Last month, the former pageant queen said that she and Sandoval are taking it slow when asked about where their relationship stands now. “We’re just trying to get through these next through steps and make amends and hear everybody out," she explained to TMZ on March 22. "I know a lot of people are angry. So, [we're] just getting through these next few steps and not putting a label on anything. We’re just kind of taking a break for now.” One day later, Leviss and Sandoval joined their castmates for the taping of the season 10 Pump Rules reunion. “Well, that was really confrontational [and] it was really emotional,” Andy Cohen told his Instagram followers after filming wrapped. “Nothing was left unsaid.” The Bravo exec, 54, later revealed that he filmed "separate one-on-ones" with Sandoval, Leviss and Madix. "I had my own things that I wanted to confront them about," the Most Talkative author explained during an April 3 episode of SiriusXM's Radio Andy. "Things I had noticed, so I got to do that. So, that’s how we started and then we brought them to the filming group.” Keep scrolling for more revelations from Sandoval's interview with Mandel:

Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo (2)

Tom Sandoval Blames Lack of Sexual 'Intimacy' for Ariana Madix Split: Bombshells From His Howie Mandel Interview

His side of the story. Tom Sandoval opened up about his affair with Raquel Leviss and subsequent split from Ariana Madix during a surprise interview with Howie Mandel. "This whole situation, obviously I've never experienced anything like it in my life," the Schwartz & Sandy's cofounder, 40, said during the Tuesday, April 11, episode of the "Howie Mandel Does Stuff" podcast. "It's just crazy how big this story has gotten." During the bombshell interview — which was seemingly taped on Thursday, April 6 — Sandoval claimed that he and Madix, 37, had been headed for a breakup for months before his affair with Leviss, 28, came to light. "Like many relationships, it felt like it became more of like a best friends, family [thing] — sometimes roommates," the Missouri native told Mandel, 67. "There were a lot of ways where the relationship was just lacking the intimacy, the connection. We would travel more by ourselves than we would together. I would go to weddings by myself." Sandoval went on to claim that the duo's sex life was not in good shape, adding that the pair started couples therapy in late 2022. The reality star said that he and Madix started their sessions after his first kiss with Leviss, which he claimed happened in early August 2022. "I love Ariana. I still love Ariana and I care about her very much so, but we for a while had been sort of having our own lives," the Bravo personality said. "We were together for nine years. We built a business and we had a house together, we were a brand." The Winter House alum claimed that he began to really think about where he stood with his then-girlfriend after his 40th birthday in July 2022. "As I turned 40, I started to look at my life and it looked very bleak," he told the comedian. "I started to lose my optimism in life and my drive. I started to feel trapped. I started thinking like, 'I don't need this house, I don't need this s–t, but I feel like I need to make a change to feel motivated, to feel optimistic again.'" [sendtonews type="float" key="z7AE2H8aX7-2828856-14453"] At that point, his connection with Leviss — who split from fiancé James Kennedy in December 2021 — began to deepen. "I was in such a place just yearning for a connection," Sandoval said. "Raquel and I had become really, really good friends, confiding in each other, a source of strength." Us Weekly confirmed on March 3 that Sandoval and Madix split after the TomTom co-owner was caught having an affair with their Vanderpump Rules costar Leviss. The Fancy AF Cocktails coauthors had been dating since 2014. After the affair was made public, Sandoval issued a public apology to his business partners and asked fans to stop bombarding his Los Angeles bar Schwartz & Sandy's with negative online reviews. His Pump Rules costars, however, quickly called him out for failing to mention Madix in the statement. “Where’s Ariana’s apology in this?" Lala Kent wrote via Instagram in March. "It’s called narcissism … & and it’s terrifying.” Kennedy, 31, also slammed the bartender via social media. "Where’s Ariana Madix mentioned?" the DJ wrote in an Instagram Story post. "Make sure y’all unfollow this clown RIGHT NOW GO." Days later, Sandoval issued a second apology that focused on his ex-girlfriend. “I want to first and foremost apologize to everyone I’ve hurt through this process. Most of all, I want to apologize to Ariana,” he wrote in an Instagram statement on March 7. “I made mistakes, I was selfish and made reckless decisions that hurt somebody I love. No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly.” Last month, the former pageant queen said that she and Sandoval are taking it slow when asked about where their relationship stands now. “We’re just trying to get through these next through steps and make amends and hear everybody out," she explained to TMZ on March 22. "I know a lot of people are angry. So, [we're] just getting through these next few steps and not putting a label on anything. We’re just kind of taking a break for now.” One day later, Leviss and Sandoval joined their castmates for the taping of the season 10 Pump Rules reunion. “Well, that was really confrontational [and] it was really emotional,” Andy Cohen told his Instagram followers after filming wrapped. “Nothing was left unsaid.” The Bravo exec, 54, later revealed that he filmed "separate one-on-ones" with Sandoval, Leviss and Madix. "I had my own things that I wanted to confront them about," the Most Talkative author explained during an April 3 episode of SiriusXM's Radio Andy. "Things I had noticed, so I got to do that. So, that’s how we started and then we brought them to the filming group.” Keep scrolling for more revelations from Sandoval's interview with Mandel:

Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo

Where He Stood With Ariana

Sandoval claimed that he and Madix were having problems long before his affair with Leviss began in August 2022, noting that his ex-girlfriend booked her own house for Coachella. The business owner alleged that Madix tried to keep their relationship drama off Vanderpump Rules for the sake of their image. "We always wanted to make sure and keep the optics that we were a solid and powerful couple, because that was our brand," Sandoval said. 

The former SUR employee went on to say that both he and Madix were dealing with mental health issues throughout much of 2022. "Our communication was not great," he recalled. "I feel like that's a fault on both of us. Especially this past year or so, we've both been dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression. We handle it very differently." Sandoval noted that his way of coping with depression is by hanging out with friends or working out, while Madix "is more like staying in bed all day, just isolating herself."

Sandoval also alleged that his sex life with Madix was no longer satisfying. "My confidence was zapped," he said before describing what a partner could have expected with him during this period. "Your sexual experience with me would be maybe a 19-year-old [on] his second time. I had no mojo, no game anymore. That was what I felt reduced to. We just didn't have the intimacy."

Credit: Bravo (2)

The 1st Kiss

Sandoval claimed that his first kiss with Leviss happened after the now-infamous guys' night that was documented earlier this season on Pump Rules. The pair "talked till the sun came up," and when they got back to Sandoval's house, he was locked out. "We just kissed. It was magnetic," he recalled, adding that the kiss happened in the backyard of the home he still shares with Madix. "I felt something that I hadn't felt in so long, like emotionally."

After the kiss, Sandoval entered therapy. "Those feelings that I had started to take over in a sense," he explained. "Logic went out the window. Because I wasn't experiencing that, I hadn't experienced that." He and Leviss kept FaceTiming, but he implied that their connection remained emotional rather than physical at that point. "All I could focus on was that," he added.

Credit: Todd Williamson/Bravo)

His Thoughts on Schwartz and Raquel

According to Sandoval, he tried to push Tom Schwartz toward Leviss after his Schwartz & Sandy's cofounder, 40, split from ex-wife Katie Maloney. "I thought [Raquel] was so awesome. She's so kind, she's smart, she's witty, she's beautiful," Sandoval said. "I was like, 'Schwartz, dude, what do you think of Raquel? Dude, she's freaking awesome.'"

Schwartz and Leviss' kiss at Scheana Shay's wedding happened several weeks after Leviss' first kiss with Sandoval, but Sandoval said he wasn't upset. "I was a little jealous, like, a little bit," Sandoval recalled, noting that Schwartz didn't yet know his business partner had also kissed Leviss. "But I was not questioning our connection and I was more proud of them for saying, 'F–k you' to [our castmates]."  

Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo

Was Schwartz's 'WWHL' Timeline Accurate?

"I did not watch it. I sort of heard what he said," Sandoval said of Schwartz's Wednesday, April 5, appearance on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. "I can't be mad at what he said. There were a lot of accuracies of what he said."

Sandoval corroborated Schwartz's claim that he found out about the "one-night stand" with Leviss in August 2022. "When we got back [from Scheana's wedding], I asked him [about the Raquel kiss]," Sandoval recalled. "[Schwartz said] it meant nothing. So then I told him what happened."

The former model went on to say that Schwartz's description of his "plan" to break up with Madix after the Pump Rules reunion was not accurate. "My plan was to break up with her in therapy," Sandoval said. "I had made it pretty clear in therapy that I wanted to take the steps to break up. Ariana kind of really started fighting for [the relationship], and I felt so, so bad about it because she was being so unbelievably sweet and amazing. Whoever gets that version of Ariana is gonna be the luckiest person. Ariana is already an amazing person, but that version of Ariana is phenomenal."

Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo

Sandoval Broke Up With Ariana on Valentine's Day

Sandoval claimed he initially broke up with Madix in February, weeks before she found out about the affair with Leviss, but he claimed she wouldn't accept the split. "Obviously, she was very upset. She freaking punched me and all this s–t," Sandoval alleged. "A couple days later, I sit down and talk with her again, and she's like, 'I'm not letting you leave me. You're gonna have to force me out of this relationship.' I was like, 'Ariana, I don't think I could be faithful in a relationship with you right now.' I hadn't told her about Raquel yet. She's like, 'If you break up with me, you will effectively be ending my life.'"

At one point, Madix allegedly suggested that she and Sandoval fertilize the eggs she froze several years ago. "I'm like, 'What? We're broken up,'" Sandoval said. "[She was] fully in denial. It scared me. It really scared me."

The TV personality added that he was still seeing Leviss throughout all this, but claimed Madix was unaware. "I was seeing Raquel as often as I could. I know that sounds horrible," Sandoval recalled. "And FaceTiming her all the time. And Ariana didn't even notice because that's just how separate our lives were. I had to actually tell her, 'How have you not noticed how distant I've been lately?'"

Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo

How They Handle Living Together

Madix and Sandoval are still sharing a home in the Valley Village neighborhood of Los Angeles, but he said they worked out a system with a "go-between" to warn each other when they'll be there. "I don't have a lot of friends I can stay with right now," Sandoval said, explaining why he hasn't yet left. "I kind of run the house. I handle the gardening, the housekeeping. My assistant comes and cleans and stocks everything. I basically run everything in the house. ... This is a big house. We have a go-between. We text when we're coming and going."

Sandoval went on to say they plan to sell the house eventually but have not yet listed it.

Credit: Todd Williamson/Bravo

The Reactions of His 'Close Friends'

The former SUR bartender slammed costars Shay, 37, and Kent, 32, for talking about the situation on their podcasts. "There are really good friends of mine that have used this scenario ... as content for their podcast. Fellow cast members," Sandoval said. "You don't know want to know because you care about Ariana. You want to know so you have more content for your podcast. It's f–king disgusting to me. It's so gross. ... So, when I have people like Scheana and Lisa [Vanderpump] and even our producers asking questions [about the timeline], I don't owe that s–t to them for content or to add salaciousness to our show. I have no problem telling at some point Ariana anything she wants to know, but I'm not gonna sit there and be interrogated by Lala or Scheana. Sorry, that's not happening."

Credit: Greg Endries/Bravo

He Didn't Shower for 'Days' After Scandoval Broke

"I have never felt the fight-or-flight [like I did] with this situation," Sandoval told Mandel, recalling the immediate time period after news of the affair was made public. "I was literally on the run like I was wanted for a triple homicide. I didn't shower for days. I was in the same clothes for days. Didn't have my medication. ... It did at times turn me into a total a–hole."

He added that he's "four days" sober from alcohol.  

Credit: Bravo (2)

Where He and Raquel Stand Now

Sandoval said that he and Leviss have not defined their relationship in the wake of the scandal. "We're really good friends," he explained. "We're not putting any label on it. We're taking a break." When Mandel asked if they're friends with benefits, Sandoval replied, "Not right now."