Jennifer Hudson: "I Was Outside of Myself" After Family Murders

Celebrity News Jun. 29, 2010 AT 9:58AM
Jennifer Hudson: "I Was Outside of Myself" After Family Murders Credit: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

On VH1's Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson on Monday, the singer, 28, opened up for the first time about the tragic 2008 murders of her mother Darnell, brother Jason and nephew Julian.

"It's all a blur, it was surreal," she said. "It was like I was outside of myself."

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For two weeks, she secluded herself in one room with loved ones.

"I prayed when I'd get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night," she recalled. Looking back, the Oscar-winning actress said she feels like she's "lived about three or four different lives."

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Helping her heal? Her fiance David Otunga and their son David, who they welcomed last August.

She says her son "reminds me of my nephew."

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While raising her son, she said she often thinks about her late mother.

"In so many ways I channel her because she was such a great mom ..." said Hudson. "I want him to get the same love and the same upbringing my mother gave us."

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