Princess Kate and Meghan Markle’s Complex Relationship: Everything We Know

Credit: Samir Hussein/WireImage

Princess Kate and Meghan Markle's Complex Relationship: Everything We Know

Princess Kate and Meghan Markle's complex relationship started off on the right foot, with the two aligning themselves together in a fast friendship after meeting in January 2017. However, rumors of a growing rift between the two soon begun to plague the royal family. Before she tied the knot with Prince Harry in May 2018, the Suits alum got some expert pointers from her soon-to-be sister-in-law. A source told Us Weekly at the time that Kate told Meghan "that if she ever needed anything, she shouldn't hesitate to get in touch, even if it's just to get a crash course on her new collection of aides." The Princess of Wales welcomed the California native as "a breath of fresh air," and the positive feelings were mutual. "[Meghan] really admires how Kate has carved out her own space when it comes to humanitarian work alongside being an amazing mother," the insider continued. Though they often put on a united front with their royal spouses, didn't take long for whispers of competition between the two women to spread. Reports of a heated interaction before Meghan and Harry's wedding emerged in 2018, claiming that the Tig founder left Kate in tears over Princess Charlotte's bridesmaid dress. Nearly three years later, Meghan addressed the alleged incident. "The reverse of that happened," she said in her first major televised interview with Harry since their step down from their senior royal duties was made permanent in February 2021. "A few days before the wedding, she was upset about flower girl dresses and it made me cry. It really hurt my feelings." [sendtonews type="float" key="n3CiVJr059-2830814-14453"] While Meghan admitted that it was "hard to get over" the damaging "narrative" that was being told, she was able to forgive Prince William's wife. "She was upset about something, but she owned it, and she apologized," Meghan recalled at the time. "She brought me flowers and a note, apologizing. And she did what I would do if I knew that I hurt someone — to just take accountability for it." Throughout her time as a working royal, Meghan faced severe scrutiny from the British tabloids, who she said "really seemed to want a narrative of a hero and a villain." Despite the way she and Kate were painted in the public eye, the philanthropist doesn't think they need to be pitted against each other. "I think so much of what I have seen play out is this idea of polarity, where if you love me, you don't have to hate her," Meghan said during the interview, which aired in March 2021. "And if you love her, you don't need to hate me." Scroll down for an in-depth look at Meghan and Kate's relationship through the years:

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When Meghan Met Kate

Harry introduced his then-girlfriend to his sister-in-law and his niece, Princess Charlotte, in January 2017. "Meghan's so happy she's getting to know more of Harry's nearest and dearest," a source told Us of the meeting, which "went well." A separate insider close to Meghan later told Us that her friend had come prepared, gifting Kate, whose birthday is January 9, with a Smythson planner. “Kate was touched by the little birthday present. It was a brief meeting. But as far as introductions go, it was a success.”

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Sisters-to-Be

Kate reacted to news of Harry and Meghan's engagement in a positive manner. “We are very excited for Harry and Meghan,” she said in a joint statement with her husband on November 27, 2017. She later told reporters, “It has been wonderful getting to know Meghan and to see how happy she and Harry are together. William and I are absolutely thrilled. It’s such exciting news. It’s a really happy time for any couple and we wish them all the best and hope they enjoy this happy moment.”

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New Home for the Holidays

The former Duke and Duchess of Cambridge hosted the new royal couple at their Anmer Hall home in Norfolk, England. “[Harry and Meghan will] be William and Kate’s guests and travel back and forth with them,” a source told Us at the time. 

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The Fab Four

The Fab Four was born following Christmas 2017 after making their first appearance as a group at the royal family’s annual Christmas church service at Sandringham on December 25.

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A Helping Hand

With Kate seven months pregnant with her third child, Prince Louis, in February 2017, a royal insider told Us that the former actress was a big help, visiting her in-law from her then-home at Nottingham Cottage for tea and advice. “She shares tips she’s read about healthy eating,” a source dished to Us of Meghan. 

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Laughter Abounds

The two women shared many a laugh during their first joint royal engagement, “Making a Difference Together,” on February 28, 2018, with their respective spouses, William and Harry, for the inaugural Royal Foundation Forum in London.

Harry spoke on the foursome's close relationship at the time: “I think it’s really good that we’ve got four different personalities,” he said. “You know, we’ve all got that same passion to want to make a difference. But [we have] different opinions, and I think those opinions work really, really well [together]. Working as a family does have its challenges. Of course it does. …  But we’re stuck together for the rest of our lives.” Added Meghan, “Togetherness at its finest.”

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Blossoming Friendship

Early on, Kate made it clear that she would be a resource for Meghan as she integrated herself into royal life. She told the Suits alum “that if she ever needed anything, she shouldn’t hesitate to get in touch,” a pal of Meghan’s told Us. "Even if it’s just to get a crash course on her new collection of aides.” Meghan, in turn, worked extra hard to win Kate over.

“She really admires how Kate has carved out her own space when it comes to humanitarian work alongside being an amazing mother,” an insider revealed. Kate, meanwhile, found the L.A. native to be “such a breath of fresh air.” By March 2018, their relationship had blossomed into what a source called a “firmly established wonderful friendship.” 

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First Signs of Trouble

Meghan became a royal after marrying Harry at Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018, but it wasn’t all smooth sailing – the bride was reportedly at odds with her new sister-in-law after a dress fitting for Charlotte, who served as the couple’s bridesmaid, left Kate in tears. 

Nearly three years later, Meghan opened up about what really went down before the wedding, denying reports that she made Kate cry. "The reverse happened," the former actress claimed during her March 2021 tell-all interview with Harry on CBS. "They really seemed to want a narrative of a hero and a villain."

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Girls' Club

The two women made their first solo appearance together at Wimbledon in London on July 14, 2018, where they appeared to have a great time, wearing matching smiles as they sat side by side in support of Meghan’s pal, Serena Williams. 

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Supportive Sister-in-Law

Kate was supportive of news in October 2018 that Meghan and Harry were expecting a baby. "William and Kate are very excited for Harry and Meghan,” a source exclusively told Us at the time. “They’re old pros at ‘the parenting thing’ and want to help them in any way they need over the months ahead.”

The mother of three also gushed to fans over the newest royal in Leicester, England, on November 27, 2018, while honoring late football club chairman Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha. “It’s such a special time to have all kiddies and a cousin for George and Charlotte as well, and Louis, so it’ll be really special.”

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Double Date Nights

The Fab Four double dated at both a Remembrance Day ceremony on November 10, 2018,  and the annual Royal Foundation Dinner at Victoria House in London on November 15, 2018.

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The Rumor Mill Churns

Feud speculation began to swirl after it was announced in November that the Deal or No Deal alum and the Invictus Games founder would soon be moving to a larger home in Windsor, England – roughly 30 miles away from Kate and William. “The ‘feud’ is definitely being played up,” a source told Us at the time. “Are they the best of friends? No. Do they speak every waking second? No. Do they hate each other? Absolutely not.” The insider explained, “They are two women under serious amounts of pressure, stress and under a huge spotlight that no one can relate to – they will always have a bond that no one can break. 

A separate source told Us that the group was even on a group text chain: “There is no fighting going on between Kate and Meghan,” the source said.

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Playing Things Up for the Camera

After months of feud rumors, both duchesses attended a pre-Christmas lunch at Buckingham Palace on December 19, 2018, before spending Christmas Day at St. Mary Magdalene at Sandringham for mass, where they exhibited close body language. Meghan, in particular, placed her hand on Kate’s back at one point, which body language expert Bianca Cobb told Us was a sign of her maternal tendencies. “It’s a gesture that signals comfort, provides reassurance and brings them closer,” she explained to Us. “By standing slightly behind Kate, Meghan is silently saying that she’s got her back. Exactly what you’d expect from sisters-in-law.”

A source later told Us, “It was obvious Kate and Meghan made an effort to show their warmth on camera.” 

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All's Well That Ends Well

Being under the same roof at Sandringham House in Norfolk, England, for the holidays meant that Meghan and Kate “couldn’t avoid each other,” a source told Us in January 2019. Luckily, they were able to work through the issues they did have and air their prior grievances. The royal insider revealed that “Meghan made it clear she that felt snubbed by Kate,” while “Kate opened up about feeling like Meghan had used her to climb the royal ladder.”

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Royal Comparisons

“Meghan feels that there is a standard set very high by” princess Kate, an insider told Us in August 2019. “It's discouraging that the British public holds her up to that. Meghan has this sense of isolation being in the U.K., subject to cruel British media. Her hands are tied and she isn't allowed to defend herself. It has been very difficult.”

The Los Angeles native discussed the unequal treatment she received from the British press before her and Harry's royal exit was made permanent in February 2021, comparing stories published about her to those written about Kate.

"If members of his family say, 'Well, this is what happened to all of us' or if they can compare what the experience that I went through was similar to what has been shared with us — Kate was called 'Waity Katie' waiting to marry William," Meghan recalled. "While I imagine that was really hard, and I do, I can't picture what that felt like. This is not the same. ... Rude and racist are not the same. And equally, you've also had a press team that goes on the record to defend you, especially when they know some things are not true. And that didn't happen for us."

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Not That Close

An insider told Us in September 2019 that Kate and Meghan “will never be best friends,” but are “civil” with each other. A second source noted at the time that the two women are “from two totally different worlds.”

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Still Sympathetic

After the former actress admitted she is “not OK” during the Harry & Meghan An African Journey documentary in October 2019, a source told Us that Kate “hates seeing” the couple “so miserable” as they take on the British press.

“Kate’s concerned about Harry and Meghan’s well-being,” the source said at the time. “[But] she tries to stay out of the drama.”

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More Holiday Drama

After Harry and Meghan opted to spent Christmas with her mother, Doria Ragland, in December 2019, the royal rift reports were fueled. However, a source told Us at the time that Harry’s relationship with William was more to blame than Kate and Meghan’s strained sisterhood.

“The rift between William and Harry is one of the main reasons behind their decision,” the source told Us. “As it’s Archie’s first Christmas, they want it to be super special. “It’ll be just Doria and the three of them. The drama surrounding the couple has caused a huge amount of stress. They’re making their family their No. 1 priority right now.”

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Royal Blindside

Days after a source told Us that Kate was hoping for her three kids to spend more time with Archie in 2020, Harry and Meghan announced their plans to take a step back from their senior royal roles. A second insider told Us that William and Kate were “blindsided” by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s decision, noting it “rubbed salt into the wounds” by making the announcement the day before Kate’s 38th birthday. 

“Meghan is definitely leading the charge on this,” a third source told Us at the time.

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Distant Duchesses

A source told Us in January 2020 that Kate and Meghan “barely speak” anymore. 

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Post-Exit Status

After Queen Elizabeth confirmed that Harry and Meghan would no longer be using their HRH titles, an insider told Us that the two duchesses “have not spoken” since the drama began. The source also noted that Meghan felt “free” in Canada and was “happy to be out of London.” 

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The Reunion

Meghan and Kate saw each other in public for the first time in four months in March 2020 at the Commonwealth Day Service. While the retired actress smiled and said hello when Kate and William walked into Westminster Abbey, the Prince and Princess of Wales barely interacted with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

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The Book

In August 2020, the book Finding Freedom gave more insight into Kate and Meghan’s relationship. While authors Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand claimed their first meeting went well, the royal reporters also revealed that the two women didn’t have much in common “other than the fact that they lived at Kensington Palace.”

The book read, “The truth was Meghan and Kate just didn’t know each other that well … Though it was not necessarily her responsibility, Kate did little to bridge the divide.”

Harry and Meghan denied having any involvement in the book, which also claims Kate once avoided a solo shopping trip with Meghan in 2017.

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The Truth Set Her Free

During a revealing sit-down interview on CBS, which aired in March 2021, Meghan spoke candidly about her experiences with royal family members behind closed doors — and firmly shut down rumors of bad blood between her and Kate.

"The narrative with Kate, it didn't happen," Meghan said, explaining that headlines about "confrontation" before her May 2018 wedding were totally misconstrued. "A few days before the wedding she was upset about flower girl dresses and it made me cry. It really hurt my feelings. It was a really hard week of the wedding. And she was upset about something, but she owned it, and she apologized. She brought me flowers and a note, apologizing. And she did what I would do if I knew that I hurt someone — to just take accountability for it."

Meghan assured viewers that she didn't intend "to be disparaging" to Kate by sharing that story. "She's a good person," the activist added. "I think so much of what I have seen play out is this idea of polarity, where if you love me, you don't have to hate her. And if you love her, you don't need to hate me."

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Their Silence Speaks Volumes

Following Meghan and Harry’s tell-all interview, a source exclusively told Us in March 2021 that the Bench author and the princess hadn’t spoken “directly in over a year.” The women’s tension had increasingly become worse as their respective husbands continued to feud, per the insider.

“They were never that close, but the reason they’re not speaking is because of the rift between Prince Harry and Prince William,” the source explained at the time. “Harry and William have communicated sparingly over the last year, but none of their communications have been friendly in quite some time. There is real animosity that the brothers have toward one another, and that has spilled over to Meghan and Kate’s relationship, making it very hard for them to be friends or even friendly.”

While the women made up after their wedding drama — which Meghan spoke about in the tell-all — their friendship never fully formed due to their differences. “In the beginning of their relationship, Kate and Meghan did get along,” the insider told Us, but “they didn’t see eye-to-eye when it came to day-to-day life in the palace.”

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Bonding Over Lili

Three months later, Meghan and Harry welcomed their second child, daughter Lilibet “Lili” Diana. The arrival of their little one in June 2021 also served as a way for Kate and Meghan to try and fix some of their issues and bond over motherhood once again.

“Kate has been reaching out to Meghan a lot more since [Lilibet] was born, she’s sending [notes and] gifts and trying to build up a relationship,” a source exclusively told Us following [Lili’s] birth.

Earlier that month, the Prince and Princess of Wales shared their excitement over the family’s newest member via social media. “We are all delighted by the happy news of the arrival of baby Lili,” the couple wrote in a sweet Instagram post. “Congratulations to Harry, Meghan and Archie.”

In August 2021, a separate source exclusively told Us that Meghan and Kate’s relationship had been getting better in recent months. “Meghan and Kate are actually getting along really well and have been in touch more often,” the insider explained. “Meghan and Kate’s relationship was never that close. And now they’re closer than ever and working on their relationship for the sake of the family.”

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Out of Town

While Meghan and Harry reportedly reached out to Kate in January 2022 in celebration of her 40th birthday, by April of that year things were again icy for the in-laws. The former actress and her husband made a surprise visit to Windsor Castle in April 2022 to see the queen, but William and Kate were noticeably absent.

William “just happened to be skiing when Harry and Meghan were at Windsor Castle,” a source exclusively confirmed to Us after his brother’s trip. “It was purely coincidental. Harry is coming back to visit soon and hopes to see William in-person. They are trying to figure things out.”

The quick stop in London marked the first time that Harry and Meghan were in the U.K. together since their royal step back in 2020. While Kate and William “were not in attendance,” the boys’ father, Charles, was said to have made an appearance during the family reunion.

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Platinum Jubilee Snub

Once again, the in-laws appeared to avoid one another while Meghan and Harry were in town in June 2022 to celebrate the queen’s Platinum Jubilee. According to royal expert Christopher Andersen, the California residents tried to make amends with the family while in the U.K. but were unsuccessful.

“They went there hoping to mend fences and ran into a brick wall,” he exclusively claimed to Us at the time, adding that he “was personally surprised” that the pair were “excluded” from the balcony during Trooping the Colour. “I thought that there would be an opportunity for [Harry] to show up there to show the solidarity [and] the future of the monarchy. … I’m sure they expected to have a warmer welcome than what they received.”

The Brothers and Wives: Inside the Private Lives of William, Kate, Harry, and Meghan author further alleged that “William and Kate made no effort at all to introduce Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis to [Lili]” during the visit. He noted that there is still “a lot of tension” between the couples. “As far as I know, nobody believes they spoke [to one another]” during the celebrations, Andersen added.

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United in Grief

Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II in September 2022, Kate and Meghan reunited alongside their respective husbands, William and Harry, to mourn the loss as a unit. Us confirmed that William, who is now next in line to the throne after his father, Charles, invited his brother and sister-in-law to join them for a public outing on September 10, two days after the queen passed.

The Fab Four were seen in Windsor, England, greeting mourners who came to pay their respect to the late monarch. It was the first time in years that all of them were together in public.

“For all of their differences in the past, many of which still linger, this was what The Queen would have wanted and William knew very well that it was no time to be holding onto grudges or distancing himself from his brother,” a source exclusively told Us of the outing. “They needed to put on a united front and pay their respects for her sake as well as the monarchy as a whole and the people she served so tirelessly during her reign.”

Still, the decision to invite Harry and Meghan wasn’t an “easy” one for William. “Even though they got together to greet people outside of the palaces and look at the flowers and such … you could see a kind of stiffness and formality between the two couples,” royal expert Andersen exclusively told Us in September 2022, adding that while Charles has shown his “interest to get Harry back into the fold,” William may not be as welcoming. “I think he’s got much more of a grudge against Harry at this time,” the author explained, noting that Harry and Meghan appeared to still be “uneasy” with their relatives.

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Keeping Their Distance

At the queen's September 2022 funeral in London, the women stood near Queen Consort Camilla, however, the Duchess of Sussex seemed to physically space herself away from them.

“Meghan’s body language doesn’t hint at her relationship with the queen consort, Kate and the children,” body language expert Blanca Cobb exclusively told Us exclusively at the time. “However, standing back and behind the queen consort, Kate and the children signals a possible emotional distance.”

She added, “Perhaps, she wanted to give them space. Or she needed some space to reflect and think. If she believes that their relationship is strained, then it’s possible that she stood back. You tend to keep a physical distance when you don’t feel emotionally close to someone.”

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Trailer Tension

After Netflix released the first footage from Meghan and Harry's docuseries, a source told Us that the Princess of Wales and her husband weren't pleased by what they saw — especially because the trailer's debut coincided with their first trip to the United States in eight years. “Kate and William were left flummoxed when the Netflix trailer aired during their trip to Boston,” the insider explained. “It’s put a huge amount of strain on relationships that are already hanging by a thread."

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First Meeting

Markle opened up about the awkward first encounter she had with the princess while reminiscing in the Netflix docuseries Harry & Meghan in December 2022.

“Even when William and Kate came over and I met her for the first time, they came over for dinner, and I remember I was in ripped jeans and I was barefoot. I was a hugger. I’ve always been a hugger. I didn’t realize that is really jarring for a lot of Brits," she said. "I guess I started to understand very quickly that the formality on the outside carried through on the inside, that there is a forward-facing way of being, and then you close the door and you go, ‘Oh, alright, OK, I can relax now,’ but that formality carries over on both sides, and that was surprising to me."

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Signs of Trouble

According to Harry's January 2023 memoir, Spare, Kate was seemingly put off when Meghan asked to borrow some lip gloss. "Kate, taken aback, went into her handbag and reluctantly pulled out a small tube," he wrote. "Meg squeezed some onto her finger and applied it to her lips. Kate grimaced."

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The Wedding Drama

"[Kate] had other problems with the way Meg was planning her wedding," Harry wrote in Spare, referring to the confrontation between his sister-in-law and Meghan over Charlotte's bridesmaids dress. "It was intolerable — but temporary."

The BetterUp CIO recalled coming home to find his then-fiancée "sobbing" after the encounter with Kate. "I was horrified to see [Meghan] so upset, but I didn't think it was a catastrophe," he added. "Indeed the next morning Kate came by with flowers and a card that said she was sorry."